Now playing: To Wish Impossible things - The Cure
Todays theme: Wishing
In life, we're taught at an early age to set goals for ourselves. But, we're never taught what is realistic and what isn't.
Realistic: Getting into grad school in the critical theory program
Unrealistic: Make her love me as much as I love her
Why the fuck didn't our parents ever tell us how bad we'd get fucked over from time to time? I'm a firm believer in picking a goal, and busting your ass for it. It's how life works.
But, in this romantic fiction world that doesn't exist, the one our folks never warned us about, we can pour everything we have into this one person, and even if you've done eveything right, the result is unreturned phone calls, pulling away from you in bed when you want to cuddle, and having to ask for a kiss.And there isn't a single thing you can do about it.
Control is an illusion. Don't ever, ever forget that. The illusion of safety and control are two things that left my mind a long time ago, and I've been a lot more sane as a result, But this isn't a control issue. This is about knowing what is worth your effort. And even then I knew, this isn't worth it. Something else is. And here I am at 5:24 am not having slept in 5 days, wondering what happened. On one hand, I know exactly what happened. On the other one, God damnit! Wtf happened???!!!
While I'm thinking about it... How fucked is that? One week it's a 48 hour straight cuddle kissing fest, the next time I see her, she wouldn't even fucking kiss me, I had to ask if it was alright like the first time you kiss someone... And, the first time I asked, she said on the cheek... Wtf..
Someday, at age 14, some kid is going to set his life goal to be the invention of the "Read your mates mind" machine. And then, we can all stop listening to sad songs. We can stop staring at our ceiling. We can stop wondering what went wrong.
Go to work Jimmy. I've got questions I need answered.
Todays theme: Wishing
In life, we're taught at an early age to set goals for ourselves. But, we're never taught what is realistic and what isn't.
Realistic: Getting into grad school in the critical theory program
Unrealistic: Make her love me as much as I love her
Why the fuck didn't our parents ever tell us how bad we'd get fucked over from time to time? I'm a firm believer in picking a goal, and busting your ass for it. It's how life works.
But, in this romantic fiction world that doesn't exist, the one our folks never warned us about, we can pour everything we have into this one person, and even if you've done eveything right, the result is unreturned phone calls, pulling away from you in bed when you want to cuddle, and having to ask for a kiss.And there isn't a single thing you can do about it.
Control is an illusion. Don't ever, ever forget that. The illusion of safety and control are two things that left my mind a long time ago, and I've been a lot more sane as a result, But this isn't a control issue. This is about knowing what is worth your effort. And even then I knew, this isn't worth it. Something else is. And here I am at 5:24 am not having slept in 5 days, wondering what happened. On one hand, I know exactly what happened. On the other one, God damnit! Wtf happened???!!!
While I'm thinking about it... How fucked is that? One week it's a 48 hour straight cuddle kissing fest, the next time I see her, she wouldn't even fucking kiss me, I had to ask if it was alright like the first time you kiss someone... And, the first time I asked, she said on the cheek... Wtf..
Someday, at age 14, some kid is going to set his life goal to be the invention of the "Read your mates mind" machine. And then, we can all stop listening to sad songs. We can stop staring at our ceiling. We can stop wondering what went wrong.
Go to work Jimmy. I've got questions I need answered.
thank you sir.
Have a great day!
[Edited on Sep 30, 2003]
yes, that is strange..(insert twilight zone music here)
I have added you also.
I edited my last comment 3 times..