today was...
and that's about all i can say for it.
i have been working for the past year "directing" youth. serving them and guiding them. in all honesty though, i've pretty much just been hanging out with them, building these really awesome relationships.
it seems to me that life is kind of a random series of relationships. constant hellos and meaningful conversations. and there are among these the inevitable goodbyes.
my youth and i had a discussion one night on relationships and the end of them. that saying goodbye and "tying up loose ends" is a privilege we often don't take seriously. i very vividly remember that night now, as i prepare to leave my current workplace. it was the start of a career...and i'll pick it up again when the time is right..and the position is as well. for now, i'll be looking for a job until i'm settled into a new life. a new relationship. one that, if i take it as seriously as i intend to, won't have an ending. or a goodbye...until death but i mean....i'm feeling pensive not morbid tonight.
so as i transition from one life to another, trying to seemlessly blend the two, i find myself refusing to say goodbye. i'm worse than the kids. they bravely step up to me, hug me, tell me how i've impacted change in their lives. and me? i blink back tears and tell them that they've done the same for me. but i refuse to say goodbye.
can we move on without ending things? or does there have to be ONE final moment that announces the end of one thing and the beginning of another?
i can promise that i don't have the answer. and even if i did, i'd be handling these goodbyes the same way. i hope they know how truly touched i've been to work with and for them.
and i trust that leaping into this new (and final) romantic relationship is the best thing i could do for myself, even if it means some painful goodbyes.
and that's about all i can say for it.
i have been working for the past year "directing" youth. serving them and guiding them. in all honesty though, i've pretty much just been hanging out with them, building these really awesome relationships.
it seems to me that life is kind of a random series of relationships. constant hellos and meaningful conversations. and there are among these the inevitable goodbyes.
my youth and i had a discussion one night on relationships and the end of them. that saying goodbye and "tying up loose ends" is a privilege we often don't take seriously. i very vividly remember that night now, as i prepare to leave my current workplace. it was the start of a career...and i'll pick it up again when the time is right..and the position is as well. for now, i'll be looking for a job until i'm settled into a new life. a new relationship. one that, if i take it as seriously as i intend to, won't have an ending. or a goodbye...until death but i mean....i'm feeling pensive not morbid tonight.
so as i transition from one life to another, trying to seemlessly blend the two, i find myself refusing to say goodbye. i'm worse than the kids. they bravely step up to me, hug me, tell me how i've impacted change in their lives. and me? i blink back tears and tell them that they've done the same for me. but i refuse to say goodbye.
can we move on without ending things? or does there have to be ONE final moment that announces the end of one thing and the beginning of another?
i can promise that i don't have the answer. and even if i did, i'd be handling these goodbyes the same way. i hope they know how truly touched i've been to work with and for them.
and i trust that leaping into this new (and final) romantic relationship is the best thing i could do for myself, even if it means some painful goodbyes.