So, Im on unemployment.
Its a lot better than being plain unemployed.
I fought it for a while, even as all my friends started going on the dole. I wasnt into it for the money, and I was afraid getting paid not to work would ruin the quality of my slack. I wasnt going to sell out.
But ever since I went on the dole, its been a roaring success. My only complaint is that the check doesnt come wrapped around a 5lb block of gumment cheese. If it did, I wouldnt even have to leave the house, Id just sit around in my underwear all day getting fat and lazy.
Last week they said I only had to call in every other week. I was only on the job for three weeks, and Id already doubled my productivity.
I worked part time for the past two weeks, and I should have just gotten the $250 that I made deducted from my check. Instead, they gave me $100 more than I would have gotten if I hadnt worked at all.
So, Im making twice as much money, working only half as long.
If this keeps going on like this, by the time I get off unemployment Ill be getting a couple hundred grand a week.
Ive always heard that everybody has a calling, some career that they were born to do. Every time I had my parents or guidance councilor tell me that, all I could think was that I didnt want to do anything at all. But I never guessed that slack would be how Id make my fortune.
So Im moving out of the suburbs, to the Ghett-o of Jersey City.
Life is good.
Its a lot better than being plain unemployed.
I fought it for a while, even as all my friends started going on the dole. I wasnt into it for the money, and I was afraid getting paid not to work would ruin the quality of my slack. I wasnt going to sell out.
But ever since I went on the dole, its been a roaring success. My only complaint is that the check doesnt come wrapped around a 5lb block of gumment cheese. If it did, I wouldnt even have to leave the house, Id just sit around in my underwear all day getting fat and lazy.
Last week they said I only had to call in every other week. I was only on the job for three weeks, and Id already doubled my productivity.
I worked part time for the past two weeks, and I should have just gotten the $250 that I made deducted from my check. Instead, they gave me $100 more than I would have gotten if I hadnt worked at all.
So, Im making twice as much money, working only half as long.
If this keeps going on like this, by the time I get off unemployment Ill be getting a couple hundred grand a week.
Ive always heard that everybody has a calling, some career that they were born to do. Every time I had my parents or guidance councilor tell me that, all I could think was that I didnt want to do anything at all. But I never guessed that slack would be how Id make my fortune.
So Im moving out of the suburbs, to the Ghett-o of Jersey City.
Life is good.