al

Today I want to have a little lesson for all you folks out there in SG land. This lesson is called...

HOW TO WRITE A HELP REQUEST

First, ask yourself: did I forget my password, or is my password not working? If the answer is yes, STOP. Do not fill out a help request. Look over to the left and enter your email address in the little box. If the little box gives you an error, then by all means, fill out a help request and say that's what happened..

Next, did you read the FAQs? If not, STOP. Do not fill out a help request. Read the FAQs to see if your problem is addressed. If not, fill out a help request. Are you too lazy to read the FAQs? Then fuck off.

Now. Enter all the information we ask you for. For your name, don't put something "cute" or your "nick name", put your real fuckin' name, jerkoff. And don't fuck up when you enter your email address or else I won't be able to answer you. When it asks for your browser/OS, put in your fucking browser AND operating system. And don't put "windows" because that's about as helpful as saying "yes" when someone asks you what your had for breakfast.

Then, when you describe your problem, don't say something like "login". What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? No, please tell me your problem in vivid, graphic detail, including exactly what you did and any error messages you may have gotten. If you do not have a technical problem, please try to use plain english to describe it. It is especially helpful if you use complete sentences and make an effort to spell things correctly. If english is not your native language, fine, but if you got through the public school system like I did you should at least be able to construct some semblance of a sentence that makes some sort of sense.

Now. Chances are, I will write back to you. If I ask for certain information, please give me all the information I ask for. Without it, I can't help you. I'm not asking you for these things for fun. When you write back to me, please include the conversation we've been having. Without it, I have no idea why you are telling me certain things and we'll have to start over, which means your problem won't get solved as soon and your precious internet porn or valuable nine bucks will have to wait.

If it's the weekend or the middle of the night, don't send five requests asking why no one has answered your request. We have to sleep sometime too. If it's Saturday fucking night, go out and have a drink. Don't be angry because you can't look at internet porn.

If you want to have a personal correspondence with me, contact me through the tab in my profile.

Also, don't yell at me or insult me. I don't want people like that on the site.

If you follow all these steps, your problem will get fixed quickly. You are not the only one with a problem. Have a little patience and everything will be okay in time.