al

I have discovered something about myself. I am no longer interested in lingerie. I want functional underwear. I don't want lace or sea foam green or itty bitty panties with next to no crotch and I certainly don't want tiny elastic garter belts with four little plastic garters. Whatever happened to the glory days of underwear? Girdles and long line bras and fully fashioned stockings and big thick rubberized garter belts with eight or more garters... now days the most uncomfortable thing a women might ever think of wearing to contain herself is control-top pantyhose, which is, I admit, really darn uncomfortable... so why not just wear a girdle and get it over with? Do you want to look presentable or do you want your nasty flab sticking out and bouncing all over the place? The whole emphasis on sexy lingerie and feeling sexy under your clothes and with your clothes off has made many of us look like crap with our clothes on! It's textured and squeezes and bulges and pinches and is generally visible... so they make things like the t-shirt bra which are designed not to be seen, but why don't they make all stuff like that? Is there something good about being able to see your underwear? and for the love of jeff don't buy sexy lingerie to wear for your man. he won't notice. he'll remember that you were wearing something... or other... and then took it off. Frankly, I feel sexiest when I look good with my clothes on, and to accomplish this I need underwear, not lacy bits of cloth with little bows on them.

And give me black or give me death.

Hey, can you solve Rubik's cube?