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aksiokersa

Member Since 2004

Followers 52 Following 81

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Saturday Apr 23, 2005

Apr 23, 2005
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It's my journal smile (if you already read the intro about interstitial cystitis, check out today's thoughts underneath the row of pretty pretty stars)
I thought it would be cool to document teh life of a chick who's got the girlie-disease "interstitial cystitis."
A lotta people don't know what I.C. is so here goes: incurable tiny ulcers inside the wall of your bladder make it hard to walk, exercise, eat, drink, fuck, dance, breathe, smell flowers, blah blah blah.
The thing is? I have this disease and i'm still kickin' ass.
And other for-real chicks that have bullshit going on with their bodies can relate.
No matter what our mutherfucking misogynistic doctors, sadistic nurses, well-meaning family members, and uninformed aquaintances say, we are awesome, and we can do a good job of taking care of ourselves, thankyouverymuch.
************************************************************************************************************************

Started my thesis research for real yesterday.
Measuring archaeological bones.
Good times, good times.

I'm trying really hard not to kick my own ass about how long my thesis is taking.

The only thing I used to care about was how I did in school and at work. I can't do that anymore because I'll never be a standout in either of those categories now that I'm dealing with the intense IC symptoms.

I have to learn to base my happiness on how healthy I am. I have to learn to feel proud of things that no one else can see.

-Drinking 8 glasses of water today.

-Getting my laundry done even though it hurts to carry my clothes.

-Saying no to a volunteer opportunity at Planned Parenthood.

-Calling my doctor ~again~ for that prescription.

I've had to cut some people from my life. They just didn't get it. Said I was settling. Said I was accepting loserdom.

I know one day they'll get me, though, maybe when they're old fogies.

Sometimes you just gotta refocus and accept.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
divi:
I think it's my everlasting dream to become a big feminist superstar and play CampTrans for free wink
"No one can do everything, but everyone can do something" - repeat it as a mantra; it helps. Being the strong womyn that shines through your journal post ^ makes it easy to believe that you're affecting change being who you are.
Love,
dv
Apr 25, 2005
sakita:
umm thanks... listen it wasnt through will power that i got clean, honestly. I moved out of the country to a place where i knew no one, had no contacts...
was it easy? nope...
is it easier? yep
do i still want it sometimes....oh yes...

and yes sometimes you need to cut people out of your life, if they arent supporting you, they are only holding you back.
I used to want to be an archeologist, and would have loved to read anything about your thesis.
and dont worry my thesis for my junior paper in a brit lit major took me 3 months to even start.
frown

you have an amazing attitude, know what you need to do, and do it, and to me, that is what makes a hero.

ooo aaa
Apr 25, 2005

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