It's my journal 
(if you already read the intro about interstitial cystitis, check out today's thoughts underneath the row of pretty pretty stars)
I thought it would be cool to document teh life of a chick who's got the girlie-disease "interstitial cystitis."
A lotta people don't know what I.C. is so here goes: incurable tiny ulcers inside the wall of your bladder make it hard to walk, exercise, eat, drink, fuck, dance, breathe, smell flowers, blah blah blah.
The thing is? I have this disease and i'm still kickin' ass.
And other for-real chicks that have bullshit going on with their bodies can relate.
No matter what our mutherfucking misogynistic doctors, sadistic nurses, well-meaning family members, and uninformed aquaintances say, we are awesome, and we can do a good job of taking care of ourselves, thankyouverymuch.
****************************************************************************************************************************
*siiiiiiiiiiiigh*
I did something hella stupid today.
(Voice in head says "So it's a day like every other day?")
I visited my old stompin' grounds on the net.
My old forum-home.
Where my ex and our old college gang hang out.
I dated this guy for 6 years and lived with him for 4 of those years. No one understood what I saw in him, but he was the best friend and best boyfriend a person could ever want. That is, until he went crazy in '01.
I mean, it's '05 for Christ'ssake!
I feel like such an idoiot, loving him the way I do. STILL.
I mean, the guy actually broke things in our house when he was mad. He almost took out one of my eyeballs with a broomstick one time because I LEFT A GLASS TOO CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF THE COUNTER.
What is wrong with me?
I'm a fuckin' after school special is what I am.
I really need to stay away from that forum.
Updated/edited because the stupid smilies don't translate when you "copy" something into your journal and because I can't STAND the way I talk.
Being from a surfer town should qualify you as verbally disabled.
(if you already read the intro about interstitial cystitis, check out today's thoughts underneath the row of pretty pretty stars)
I thought it would be cool to document teh life of a chick who's got the girlie-disease "interstitial cystitis."
A lotta people don't know what I.C. is so here goes: incurable tiny ulcers inside the wall of your bladder make it hard to walk, exercise, eat, drink, fuck, dance, breathe, smell flowers, blah blah blah.
The thing is? I have this disease and i'm still kickin' ass.
And other for-real chicks that have bullshit going on with their bodies can relate.
No matter what our mutherfucking misogynistic doctors, sadistic nurses, well-meaning family members, and uninformed aquaintances say, we are awesome, and we can do a good job of taking care of ourselves, thankyouverymuch.
****************************************************************************************************************************
*siiiiiiiiiiiigh*
I did something hella stupid today.
(Voice in head says "So it's a day like every other day?")
I visited my old stompin' grounds on the net.
My old forum-home.
Where my ex and our old college gang hang out.
I dated this guy for 6 years and lived with him for 4 of those years. No one understood what I saw in him, but he was the best friend and best boyfriend a person could ever want. That is, until he went crazy in '01.
I mean, it's '05 for Christ'ssake!
I feel like such an idoiot, loving him the way I do. STILL.
I mean, the guy actually broke things in our house when he was mad. He almost took out one of my eyeballs with a broomstick one time because I LEFT A GLASS TOO CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF THE COUNTER.
What is wrong with me?
I'm a fuckin' after school special is what I am.
I really need to stay away from that forum.
Updated/edited because the stupid smilies don't translate when you "copy" something into your journal and because I can't STAND the way I talk.
Being from a surfer town should qualify you as verbally disabled.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
After my husband left in 1999, I didn't date again for almost 4 years. He just left me too damaged and I couldn't deal. I even gained a bunch of weight to "protect" myself. But you know, once I finally did do something for myself, and started having fun ... and especially after I started dating a wonderful man ... eventually, he lost his control over me. I mean, what made him so special compared to everyone else? His meanness. His emotional unavailability. Really sick shit. I just couldn't let it go because I wanted to fix it. But I never could and once I decided to fix myself ... I was able to. I almost said quickly able to, but that's not really true. It wasn't quick but it did happen.
Have a great day, honey!
And thank you. I probably do beat myself up too much.