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akiramai

Melbourne, Australia

SG Since 2016

Followers 15612 Following 348

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Blog HW: Share a photo that is special to you and tell us about it.

Aug 3, 2018
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Hey SG world,

I'm sorry for being a little inactive on here recently, I've been battling with my mental health a bit and organizing my life before moving to Canada in 4 or so weeks.

I have so many special photos, of loved ones, capturing happiness and important days. I think a photo is truly special if you can still remember how you felt when you took that photo or when that photo was taken of you. The feelings I had in this photo of me and my cousin still impact me today.

Apart from my brother, who is 2 years older, Emma was the only other family member that was around our age. All of my other cousins are a lot older, so it was usually just us three that would hang out at family events.

Emma died in her sleep when she was just 16. The autopsy results said it was a result of SADS. Sudden arythmic death syndrome. I was heartbroken. She was one of the only people I could completely confide in, and we grew up inseparable, we knew everything about each other. When I look back at photos like this, I cry a lot but try and remember how happy she always was.

I dealt with a lot of resentment of myself and guilt after her death due to my mental health. I had dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts since the age of 11, and I felt so selfish that I'd been wanting to leave this earth and my best friend, who loved life, got taken away instead. I wanted to trade places with her more than ever.

This photo, along with all of the other photos we have together, mean the absolute world to me. It's been 7 years since her death, and I still think about her everyday.

Sorry for the sad topic SG!

You never know when your last time with someone will be <3

thank you @missy @rambo <3

All my love,

Akiramai

xxx

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
slim80:
mental health aside you seem like you have a big heart and I get the feeling you're an awesome person. are you familiar with the song from offspring - gone away? That would probably be how I would feel if dad left the world before me. It's always big of you to share this kind of thing, always nice getting an insight. Hope the move goes well!
Aug 8, 2018
jaskola:
Cute!!
Aug 21, 2018

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