Ok it has been a week since i have had coffee. I am trying to quit. With how little i sleep lately, it has been pretty hard. My stomach feels pretty good which is nice, but i think i am going through withdrawal symptoms. I really don't want to develop an ulcer though, so it is worth it.......if i can fucking stay awake. I have been drinking Yerba Mate which has a stimulant somewhat similar in chemical structure to caffeine.....i don't like the taste, it tastes like grass water. And i have been drinking a lot lot lot of teas......they don't bother my stomach like coffee, not so acidic.
I have this desire to look different lately. I need to do one or more of the following:
-get a tatoo
-get pierced (but what?)
-cut and/or dye my hair
-make some new clothes
-wear makeup
-work out
Where does that desire come from? I don't even really know how i want to look different, just that i am tired of my reflection. I don't know.........
I have been in a poppy sort of music mood lately. Listening to Belle and Sebastian, their songs make me happy. Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind.... I used to hate this sort of music......my personality used to be much more narrow when i was younger, and i always bounced between extremes from year to year. I can sing along to and have memorised almost any pre-1998 Nine inch Nails, Cure and Marilyn Manson....which i was all obsessed with in late middle though highschool....yet a few years prior to that i was listening to the likes of Boys to Men, Mariah Carrey, Paula Abdul and other such shining examples of young girl's 90's naievete. After the angered goth phase i listened to alot of classic rock and hippie music and particularly Jethro Tull for some reason. Then the punk phase. Then.....well after i went though the punk phase it must have been my mid junior year of highschool, and i pretty much backed off of music for a while. Then that summer Napster helped me to become much more well rounded and "ecclectic". But it was just funny, in each of those "musical phases" I was pretty exclusive with what i listened to until that summer of junior year. Weird? I have been told my music tastes are really random and ecclectic now. I miss the old Napster in a lot of ways.
Things i want in my life:
-a less expensive apartment
-a job where i have to deal with people less, or at least less extensively.
-a buffer zone of at least $100 in my savings account
-a tattoo
-pay off the credit card
-eventually.....go back to college.
-start painting again.
Things i like about Corvallis right now:
-Autumn leaves....the colors are so brilliant right now.
-Cool crisp air as i bike to work...it smells so good.
-morning fog....i can see it through the old glass window when i wake up early, before i shower.
P.S. this is hot
P.S. # 2: Maybe i should do this again:
P.S. #3: This morning i couldn't find a matching pair of my own socks, and i HATE wearing mismatched socks, so I wore some of Gregs, which just occured to me, i have NEVER done before! We have been dating three years almost, do you think ti is too early in the relationship for such harsh realities?
I have this desire to look different lately. I need to do one or more of the following:
-get a tatoo
-get pierced (but what?)
-cut and/or dye my hair
-make some new clothes
-wear makeup
-work out
Where does that desire come from? I don't even really know how i want to look different, just that i am tired of my reflection. I don't know.........
I have been in a poppy sort of music mood lately. Listening to Belle and Sebastian, their songs make me happy. Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind.... I used to hate this sort of music......my personality used to be much more narrow when i was younger, and i always bounced between extremes from year to year. I can sing along to and have memorised almost any pre-1998 Nine inch Nails, Cure and Marilyn Manson....which i was all obsessed with in late middle though highschool....yet a few years prior to that i was listening to the likes of Boys to Men, Mariah Carrey, Paula Abdul and other such shining examples of young girl's 90's naievete. After the angered goth phase i listened to alot of classic rock and hippie music and particularly Jethro Tull for some reason. Then the punk phase. Then.....well after i went though the punk phase it must have been my mid junior year of highschool, and i pretty much backed off of music for a while. Then that summer Napster helped me to become much more well rounded and "ecclectic". But it was just funny, in each of those "musical phases" I was pretty exclusive with what i listened to until that summer of junior year. Weird? I have been told my music tastes are really random and ecclectic now. I miss the old Napster in a lot of ways.
Things i want in my life:
-a less expensive apartment
-a job where i have to deal with people less, or at least less extensively.
-a buffer zone of at least $100 in my savings account
-a tattoo
-pay off the credit card
-eventually.....go back to college.
-start painting again.
Things i like about Corvallis right now:
-Autumn leaves....the colors are so brilliant right now.
-Cool crisp air as i bike to work...it smells so good.
-morning fog....i can see it through the old glass window when i wake up early, before i shower.
P.S. this is hot
P.S. # 2: Maybe i should do this again:
P.S. #3: This morning i couldn't find a matching pair of my own socks, and i HATE wearing mismatched socks, so I wore some of Gregs, which just occured to me, i have NEVER done before! We have been dating three years almost, do you think ti is too early in the relationship for such harsh realities?
I also want all of the same things too...100 bucks in savings. ha yeah right.
Usually when I have that trapt feeling I usually fuck with my hair. Then when I do afterwards I'm ALWAYS disappointed.
If you want something pierced...get something you already have pierced stretched. That's what I've started doing. It's gets rid of that desire somewhat and I'm not stuck with some thing I have to take care of for months.