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akasherm

Adelaide, South Australia

Member Since 2010

Followers 41 Following 160

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Friday Oct 08, 2010

Oct 7, 2010
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It's Friday night and I'm done. It's been a long couple of days and I feel a little burnt out. That being said, I feel really happy with how much work I go done on the BAA project this week. Go me. Mentally, I'm torched. I'm most certainly done for the night. It's just turned midnight and my motivation is tapped. Hopefully sleep will come easily.

My eldest boy asked if we could do something on the weekend. I'll work hard at making something happen. I'm deathly afraid of being the dad in that Cat Stevens song ... I work such long hours. I know I don't give my kids all the time they deserve. It's hard finding balance between earning enough money to keep a roof over our heads, and spending quality time with my family without constantly feeling I need to be back at my desk doing something that will bring in cash. I don't really have any answers, nor do I feel like I have the time to go finding them.

Did that sound whiny? It wasn't meant to be. I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. I know how lucky I am. I have a beautiful wife, two adoring boys, my own business that I get to run from home. We have a roof over our heads, food in the kitchen, a few nice luxuries, and a comfortable lifestyle that suits us. I wish we weren't such slaves to money though. Some days I wish we had a commune somewhere, living a self-sufficient dream with like-minded friends, off the grid with no financial dependence. Actually, I'd settle for an RV and some disposable income :/

So the question stands. What will I do with the wife and kids tomorrow. Maybe we'll take a drive out into the country. The weather will be nice. Not too hot, or cold. I can sneak some thoughts about work while I'm driving, escape a little between banging out Elvis tunes, and generally find some relaxation on the open road. That sounds like a plan.

I should wrap up now. Blogging isn't coming easy tonight. I feel somewhat ... distracted. Maybe I'm just tired. I'm not sure. I guess I don't feel as open as I would normally prefer when sharing this glimpses into my little daily window. Oooh. Guarded. I feel guarded. I don't know why. I'll just wait and see if it's still hanging around later. Gah. I hate when a post feels like it's ending prematurely ...

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