akasha823

So, the Monsters rear their ugly heads.

My good old friends, Hurt and Depression sinking in

As rapidly as I breathe the air;

Every minute struggling to feel anything but morbidity and dread.



Confusing diatribe-

Misguided, misunderstood-

Over analyzing and self loathing-

How do I know what's good?

When I can't let go of the fear-

That grips me daily, sucking my energy away-

Clawing at my soul,

I am letting him win,

When I lose control.

Thoughts of the words that scarred my aura-

Stupid, worthless, useless, never good enough...

The list scrolls on and on through my mind as the tears stroll down my face.

This never ending cycle,

Leaving me alone, inside this mental hiding place.

The Words hurt worse then the hands around my neck.

The Bruises have since healed, but the pain swallows me every chance it gets.



Today.

________

Years later, I still feel it. Years later, I still have no control. I just want to be whole again. I just want to feel good again, without expecting something bad to happen.

______

Thanks, as always for reading.