Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

aeryn

wherever I laid my hat was my home

Member Since 2005

Followers 74 Following 32

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Mar 19, 2006

Mar 19, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Last night my thoughts went something like this:

'What is it about Rock that when it's good it's just so ...so....GOOD?'

This thought brought on by a GOOD show by B.R.M.C., was unfortunately followed by:

'Why the fuck does my ex and his new girl friend always have to come and cuddle/stand within 10 feet of me at EVERY damn show?'

So then I'm stuck watching them. Because once I know where they are - well, I can't help but keep on eye on them. I guess I should leave, go to another part of the club, but damn it I had fought off short drunks bumping into me and 6'7" guys with really big hair wanting to stand in front of me. I had outlasted the barely 21 year old girls who only stopped talking to each other long enough to talk on their cell phones -probably still to each other.

IT WAS MY SPOT. I WAS THERE FIRST. I wasn't going to slink off to the back and give up my view and easy access to the bar.

Nope, I was going to hold my ground. Hold my ground and watch them. Hold my ground and think how we together were never like them. Hold my ground knowing that all those years, I had said to him that I didn't feel like I was The One for him, I had been right.

I'm not jealous. I'm not. I'm the one who left. I left because someone showed me how good and easy love could be. I'm just sad because my next thought was:

'I wasted fifteen years of my life.'

That was the first time I really have felt that - the loss of all that time when I knew it wasn't working but we just kept at it.

However, I'm good at controlling my thoughts and by the time I got home and in bed, I had managed to get back to thinking:

'Everything leads up to today. And today is good. And just what is it that makes really good Rock just so....so... GOOD?'


_______________________________________________

Today is my mother's birthday. She would be 75. Happy Birthday. I miss you.

It is also the three year anniversary of our little easy quick painless war. So I'm going to a protest downtown. Then my kids need some new clothes so we are going to the mall. I feel so quintessentially American.


VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
babyblue:
Yes, that whole not ever having met in person thing is a bit of a hindrance, isn't it? For future reference, I look just like my picture, only with glasses. wink
Mar 19, 2006
kozmikgirl:
"...barely 21 year old girls who only stopped talking to each other long enough to talk on their cell phones -probably still to each other."

Ha ha ha! Now THAT is funny! tongue
Mar 20, 2006

More Blogs

  • 04.12.06
    16

    Wednesday Apr 12, 2006

    Well I've been here for over a year. And what a year. I've been goi…
  • 03.21.06
    13

    Tuesday Mar 21, 2006

    He calls me in the middle of the day. For no reason. Just…
  • 03.19.06
    9

    Sunday Mar 19, 2006

    Last night my thoughts went something like this: 'What is it about…
  • 03.11.06
    8

    Saturday Mar 11, 2006

    Ok Im published...sort of... PS I'm not Ariel Gore...
  • 03.09.06
    6

    Thursday Mar 09, 2006

    Today is youngest daughter's seventh birthday. I think she had every…
  • 03.01.06
    9

    Wednesday Mar 01, 2006

    ARRRGH!!!! Emails like this from my ex: I was just looking at the …
  • 02.26.06
    8

    Sunday Feb 26, 2006

    Well let's see...searching around on the internet yesterday for why T…
  • 02.16.06
    16

    Thursday Feb 16, 2006

    He's coming tomorrow. This guy I love. This guy I never see enough …
  • 02.10.06
    16

    Friday Feb 10, 2006

    Sticky lip-gloss, long hair and high winds aren't the best of all wor…
  • 02.08.06
    11

    Wednesday Feb 08, 2006

    ** WARNING: Following Subject to Change Without Notice ** I'm hap…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
0
months
0
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,608 SuicideGirls
  • 1,112,987 followers
  • 14,970,324 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,513,679 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo