so no new set shot...o well.
i just watched Mortuary. yeah yeah yeah it interested me cuz im into dead people i know but it wasnt half bad. ive been half studyin for a final at the same time.
but otherwise im fuckin miserable. ive been drinking by myself. ive drank 5 of a 6er of Blue Moon. i wanted something and after watching Beerfest the other nite i wanted beer. im alllllllllll alone.
doesnt help that im depressed so now im slightly drunk and depressed. grrrrrrrrrreat combonation. ever get that feeling that if you were to die no one would care? that no on thinks about u everyday? that nothing will get better and that it will always be a struggle?
im fucking lonley as hell and im not just telling this to you all so that you comment saying "o ill keep you company". im just blogging because everyone else is sleeping and i dont wanna bother them. i havent been this miserable in a long time. i need someone to feel better and no one could be that for me. phones didnt answer, finals were being studied, sleep is being slept, 365 miles keep us apart.
i know this is stupid and it will pass but this sucks. i just want someone to love me and live for me. i think that that is really what i need. i need someone to truly deeply love me for who i am and who i will be.
jesus, im going to chug my beer and take my colonopin and go to bed. take a final at 10am and then drive 6 hrs. home. were i will work my ass off and trudge through the xmas season, peppered with fights and uncertianty. hopfully im being pessimistic and it will be better than that.
i just watched Mortuary. yeah yeah yeah it interested me cuz im into dead people i know but it wasnt half bad. ive been half studyin for a final at the same time.
but otherwise im fuckin miserable. ive been drinking by myself. ive drank 5 of a 6er of Blue Moon. i wanted something and after watching Beerfest the other nite i wanted beer. im alllllllllll alone.
doesnt help that im depressed so now im slightly drunk and depressed. grrrrrrrrrreat combonation. ever get that feeling that if you were to die no one would care? that no on thinks about u everyday? that nothing will get better and that it will always be a struggle?
im fucking lonley as hell and im not just telling this to you all so that you comment saying "o ill keep you company". im just blogging because everyone else is sleeping and i dont wanna bother them. i havent been this miserable in a long time. i need someone to feel better and no one could be that for me. phones didnt answer, finals were being studied, sleep is being slept, 365 miles keep us apart.
i know this is stupid and it will pass but this sucks. i just want someone to love me and live for me. i think that that is really what i need. i need someone to truly deeply love me for who i am and who i will be.
jesus, im going to chug my beer and take my colonopin and go to bed. take a final at 10am and then drive 6 hrs. home. were i will work my ass off and trudge through the xmas season, peppered with fights and uncertianty. hopfully im being pessimistic and it will be better than that.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
euphoricmisery:
Shame no new set....sorry your feeling like that i know its not the best. Just remember your young and beautiful you have your whole life ahead for you to love + people to love you, which they will and who could blame them. Its tough but keep your head little lady......x
ixi:
Crummy feelings will pass soon, and you'll soon forget you ever felt like that (It's just beacuse you're in the thick of it now) I'm always on a tangent about how school sucks so I feel your pain. Hopefully today will be 10,000 x's better than the day before it! 