adrunkmobstar

"I think i just puked a little in my mouth..."

I saw a midget today without any legs.... so I asked him if he was a road sign...

I seriously think that I'm going to hell... it's just that i think I would have too much fun... c'mon a permanent 100 degree weenie roast with suntan oil and all.. its like the trailer parks in georgia... just like home!!

i had two beers and a margarita at lunch.
I worked at this restaurant for a half a day... they fired me.
What else am i supposed to do during happy hour?

Last time i got high i ate all of my roommies fish taco mix
This time I just ate the bumpy edge around the wet stuff...

My manager likes to emphasize the kids menu.
My manager dates a lot of the guests...
His last girlfriend was pregnant at nine...

People from New Jersey are cool...
Just make sure thir hair matches their 1980's warmup suit...

i need a berr

berr meaning beer...
beer meaning reason to drink bloody mary's at 9 o'clock in the morning tomorrow...