addictedandgel

If you could only see
If you could only see how desperate I was to be held....I am sitting here drink again.drowning myself in my own pain.Afraid to feel..afraid of facing tomorrow alone.

If you could only see...how damn pathetic I look,drinking cheap beer and getting wasted before my very lonely eyes.If you could only see how much I loved,you would understand why I morn you.I have to live this way to keep from crying.When I am sober I am sad about you.

If you could only see....What a fucking angry drunk I am,how beatiful I can be.The fury in my veins,along with the alchohol don't mix well with the vicodin.I want to make love to you,not love,I want dirty,raunchy sex.Choke me,bruise me,abuse me,show me you care...or at least take the time to show me you don't.

*finger bleeding,I sliced it open on a bottle of Corona,eyes sleepy,longing for love........*

You only see me in pictures....hiding behind a camera lense.I get off posing for you,makeup and hair perfect.

I am a perfect mess!!!!!!!!!!

The camera lies,but when you are drunk you tell the truth,with to much honesty.Love me,or abuse me...I really don't care anymore,as long as you pay attention to me!!!!!