Wednesday Oct 22, 2003

0
the screams of my roommate and her girlfriend having sex coming through the walls and no matter how loud i turn up my music i can't stop hearing it like some trace of my insanity, beating in what i can't have.

i wonder if luke gave up on me because of the same reason erez did: too much drama packed into one acheron. all too scared it's true. acheron the crazy girl, as i've been since 11.

i'm sick of always being the crazy girl. i work so hard to be more than my problems and even worse, i work on all of my problems and do my best to show that i am strong and very capable of making it through things with or without someone else...*sigh* i feel defective or something.

terribly lonely, angry, frustrated [sexually?]

the further it gets from the point at which someone actually cared about me in a legitimate fashion the more it becomes this faded delicate yellowed memory from so long ago...every second it gets further away and i'm scared it'll never come back.

trismegistus:
Dearest Acheron, You remind me so much of my own betrothed, who incidentally was born almost exactly 10 years before you (3/31/74). You are both such true rams.

Here is what I tell her when she says people think she is crazy:

"Most people don't know crazy from brilliant. You are not crazy. You are brilliant."

And though I know you not, I'll say the same to you.
rubbersoul:
Didn't mean to be fiesty, my dear. Maybe it was just a bad day (unfortunately, those seem in plentiful supply lately). I remember having a roommate once whose girlfriend (who otherwise seemed very composed and pleasant) was as loud and agressive as a wild animal during sex. His room was right next to mine and I could her yelping and screaming for him to "FUCK ME HARDER!" whenever she came over. It was certainly rather awkward (at least for me) when I would see her in the kitchen later on.

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