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Well...I find myself feeling very fragile. I am not a fragile person. I live by the phrase, "I'm a tough girl." Lately though, so many things have not gone according to plan. This has caused a crack in my foundation. I feel enormous amounts of pain. I get teary all too easily. I am not myself. I am at a crossroads and I am having...
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Thank you, whoever you are.

I think I must find some time to update. Soon.

xo
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Exhaustion. So. Much. To. Do. This explains my lack of time here, in a vague-everyone-gets-it-sort-of-way. Just getting over pneumonia. Um, yuck. And I have now fallen so far behind in school, work, chores, etc. etc. that I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for a week. Not possible. Oh well. Life moves on even when you don't feel much like doing...
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dickstarr:
Yikes, I'm glad to hear you're feeling better...aside from the mounting problems and chores. Take care hun.
dragonflower:
thanks for the update! good to hear from you, sorry about the pneumo, however. puke
i'm much the same at the moment, without the sickness for an excuse! frown
oy, whatever.
until next time, take better care of yourself!!! biggrin kiss
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Well...here we are...the end of summer. Work-y begins tomorrow. I feel like I wasted my summer away. I have nothing to show for the time I had. No work done in the kitchen. Very few essays written for school. Half-assed attempts at some house cleaning. The only thing I can say with certainty that I did a lot of was sit on my ass, watch...
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dragonflower:
hooray for relaxation!! biggrin
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Sweaty. Oh so dirty. And my back sure does ache. Feels good. Gardening that is. I've managed to weed nearly the entire garden today. And my fingers are numb and practically bleeding. My arms are scratched from shoulders to knuckles. I have mosquito bites in places I didn't realize mosquitoes could find. I'm inside resting and cooling off...thanks to the many many trees shading my...
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autumnfade:
Now you got me wondering?
about the town- a coven of witches?
Am I right ? No men at all live their I bet
and the ones that stop by are never seen again?
wink wink wink -peace
autumnfade:
ha ha ha-thats nuts
I luv it so wink
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Exams passed. Essays written. Semester done. Time for a nap.
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dragonflower:
sleep long and well, deary. biggrin
drfeelgood:
Great work my georgeous friend at a distance. I hope life is treating you well.

I've decided to call it quits on SG as summer is very busy. Baseball and golf with the boy and life is good. Thank you for the wake-up call. It only added to my appreciation for you.
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Today: Weird dreams/feelings all night. Woke up really early but snuggly. My weekend officially ended when I walked out the door. Work. Full of others with issues. Tired. No patience. Weird for me. Realized weekend life has far surpassed my weekly routine. Need to take my own advice but don't really want to. Got home and played with fire. Fire makes me feel better. Smell...
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drfeelgood:
Why am I not to shocked that you like to play with fire?

Hang in there. Sounds like some lazy days are needed to establish a balance. Don't feel guilty about putting your mind and body at the top of the priority list. After all, each is beautiful and deserving of attention!
dragonflower:
smile
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So...I got a couple of new pics up of my FINISHED phoenix tattoo...there will be a few more (pics that is) someday soon. Lemme know whatchy'all think...
Cheers!
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cd107:
That is a great tat! Can we get a few more pics of it, and you? love
dragonflower:
that's a beautiful picture of you on vacation, btw. love love love ARRR!!!
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Joy! Spring break starts exactly now for me! And what's even better...there's blue sky and it's 80 degrees. Oh my god...can it be any more perfect? I'm off to play in my garden. Sigh.
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drfeelgood:
Lucky you! Enjoy the time in the dirt. I was enjoying my spring bulbs until Mother Nature crushed them with more winter! They look so sad now.

BTW - Congrats on the new connection in your life!
dragonflower:
hooray!
the weather here has been craptastic!! frown
but i don't care, cuz my sister got married today! love
i need sleep.
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Another segment in the dream saga...

I had a very vivid and unusual dream of which I cannot describe. One thing I remember clearly was a very large, very beautiful aquarium in a building. I had to look up what it might symbolize...

"To see fish in an aquarium, is indicative of small pleasures that last of short duration either in your life or to...
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dragonflower:
oooh, sweet!
how about the ocean?
or an ocean-sized aquarium.
of huge fish.
? ARRR!!! ?
drfeelgood:
There are many jokes to be added here. Most are related to size mattering.

Thanks for the message on my blog. I love how you always explain things with such a soft, almost spiritual, touch.

BTW - Any pics since you had color added to the phoenix?
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What does it mean when you dream that your best friend murders someone and blames you? Just one of many completely fucked up dreams I've had over the past week.
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dragonflower:
yeah, i've taken a few years of psychology classes. wink
drfeelgood:
This is all very weird. I've been having dreams that a horse keeps wandering through my gardens. The horse is naked! What could this all mean?
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I am the typical social-worker-teacher-community-center-facilitator nurturing female who puts on a cape swooping in to save everyone in need of help. I hate to be typical. But it occurs to me that I give everything I have into others/events/work and give nothing to myself. After weeks of caring for loved ones, disabled children, needy friends, etc., I have officially reached my maximum in the amout...
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drfeelgood:
Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are? The truth is....you are far from typical and there lies the struggle. Your priorities don't match with those of society.

I think what you are describing is our battle with reality. For many of us, we don't like the world as we see it. We see others in need, and we try to help. The problem is that the machine keeps chugging along. We continue to have to comply with the ugly realities of life. Bills, housework (not the fun stuff like gardening but things like cleaning and laundry), car maintenance, etc. These all suck our energy away. If you are like me, you probably avoid those things until they hit crisis mode. Then everything is in crisis mode!

What makes YOU, you? What adds to your soul and what subtracts? I think the key is finding a balance so we don't end up in a deficit. Can you block out a small portion of time each week to do nothing but bills? That way they aren't allowed to be an everday issue. Maybe the same with housework? I find this helpful for me. I do ALL of my cleaning and laundry in one day. At work, I devote one (I need more than one) day to correspondence. It's kind of a quarantine approach so the shitty stuff can't screw with the good stuff.

As for you and your needs. YOU ARE VALID AND SO ARE YOUR NEEDS! Allow yourself a day or two to recharge without guilt. That is not being selfish. It's survival.

Dr. Phil has competition!