There's always something you have to give up to get everything you want. It's probably a cliche but there is truth to it. Truth is the real key because you must be honest with yourself. Otherwise, how will you know what choices are better. If you examine your life, and actually reflect on what the fuck you want and what the fuck you need, you may discover truth. You can lie to everyone else, but keep the truth foremost in your mind. Just lock it away and hide it if you have to, but never forget.
I was young once and I used to deceive myself, not for any purpose or with any structure, just randomly. I didn't understand my own emotions and I generally was angry all the time. I may have wanted someone to know I cared but I couldn't hold it together in order to convey that message. Saying I love you would turn into a shouting match because they didn't appreciate my love the way I wanted them to. I spent a lot of time beating myself up and wondering why I was ever born in the first place. Depression is a bitch.
I didn't really find myself until I was in my mid thirties. I can't recall ever feeling a real sense of purpose or self worth before that. It wasn't a magical moment or an instant epiphany. I just slowly started to do things the way I wanted. It's interesting that all my former friends that I had known longer than a decade are now gone, probably forever. It's also disheartening that every one of them betrayed me in their own way and broke my heart. We either base our decisions on facts and information if we are wise, or on delusion and thin air if we are not. Obviously, the truth will fall somewhere in the middle of all that bullshit. Back then, every event for me was based on the lie I used to live and the lie I hope none of them are still living.
The point of all this bullshit is that everything is bullshit. Everyone lies because our society demands it. Knowing yourself and your weaknesses is so important if you want to improve your life. I realize giving advise is a futile effort. If someone had talked about truth to me when I was young, I would have probably told them to fuck off and I wouldn't have thought twice about it. It's during private moments of doubt, when you question your opinion, that you'll have a chance to change your own mind and make a better choice. I'd say it's never to late but that also would be bullshit.
