abashima

I would like to get up.

Obviously, I’m never getting up.

Do you enjoy witch horror? Then may I recommend Baghead, a simple enough film that is well shot, produced, w/ an interesting villain. It overrelies on cinematography and music to scare, but I looked past that b/c my imagination kept filling in holes left by the movie, esp. about the villain.

Now, is the movie good because it kept me thinking about it or bad...
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Do you enjoy movies that promise something creepy but then devolve into a mundane family drama narrated by someone unseen about events in the past that are nothing to do with the current plot? Then may I recommend How to Save Us, which starts well but then spirals into super dumb.

I suppose I should have stopped watching when the main character’s super weapon to...
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Do you enjoy winter science horror movies that don’t work? Then may I recommend Black Mountain Side, a film with a great premise that goes deeper than you’d expect into the archaeology of it all, which only makes it all more interesting—but then writing, budget, and particularly editing let it fall apart until you’re left waiting for all the numbers to be painted in. Good...
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Do you enjoy inappropriately titled good thrillers? Then may I recommend Knucleball, which has nothing whatever to do with baseball and everything with an isolated farm in winter. I watched it kind of at random and was pulled in despite the fact that a child is the lead (usually not much for such things). Fortunately, that it’s a child isn’t as important to the story,
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Do you enjoy beautiful, brutal, gorgeous, intense, dreamy, real, fantastic action in a well-executed movie? Then may I recommend Ballerina, which has the best cinematography, simplest touching sometimes heart-wrenching story around efficient choreography with shots that are actual art.

And also a message that, no, this is not, in fact, an overreaction. You deserve it—and more.

Do you enjoy low budget horror that competently conveys its simple story? Then may I recommend Bone Cold, which had just enough of just enough to keep my interest. There was something about it. It’s not a great movie or a hidden gem or anything like that, it’s…just enough, I guess?

Do you enjoy movies that understand you’ve been using too much of your brain to brain things? Then may I recommend Sharktopus vs Whalewolf, which, well, do I need to describe it? No I do not, because it’s just what it says on the tin. Still, it’s not bad—for it—and on the high end of low budget.

Do you enjoy big budget remakes of mediocre originals—neither of which turned out good? Then may I recommend Wages of Fear (2024), a movie about tension that lacks tension. Worse, there were no characters, only actors reading a perfunctory script. A much better (cliched) ending than original though, but that’s really not saying much.

After seeing Wages of Fear (1953), Sorcerer, and Wages of Fear...
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Do you enjoy movies that make you wait forever and ever for tension then end ridiculously terribly? Then may I recommend Wages of Fear (1953), which has an egregiously too-long first half that crawls, a tense overacted second half, but it ends with such inexplicable silliness that it practically undoes the whole movie, making the whole experience not worth the time spent.