abashima

Do you enjoy good buddy action films that ask for a bit more suspension of disbelief but you’re not watching it for realism anyway? Then may I recommend The Account 2, which was fab. Just as good as The Accountant, so if you liked 1, you’ll like 2. Good chemistry, good action.

Do you enjoy big budget action adventure movies that are dumb because of shitty trite writing that gets worse as the film progresses? Then may I recommend Fountain of Youth, which wastes money, actors, effort, and your time in a relentless pursuit of antagonistic squander.

Do you enjoy average action movies about gaslit lady special forces soldiers trying to find their kidnapped child? Then may I recommend Exterritorial, which has a couple good fight scenes. And in a surprising against-type, only one gunshot in the whole movie! Expect to suspend lots of disbelief tho.

Do you enjoy masterworks of film? Then may I recommend Sinners, a period piece that is not only an original vampire movie that doesn’t center the vampires, it revolves around horror using rich characters, amazing writing, outstanding direction—and the _sound_. The sound itself is magic.

Do you enjoy movies that are dumb? Then may I recommend Jewel Thief, a heist movie that treats itself seriously just as it spirals into new frontiers of silly—in a bad way. Not a so-bad-it’s-good vibe, a how-was-this-movie-green-lit vibe.

Unrelated: there’s full Bollywood over the end credits.

Do you enjoy middling Irish folk horror filmed in Irish? Then may I recommend Fréwaka which is shot well with good cinematography and acting but the script is a bit thin to support a full length film and it’s not especially creepy or scary or intimidating or tense.

Do you enjoy creepy haunted house horror? Then may I recommend 825 Forest Road, which I watched with trepidation because the w/d also did Hell House LLC, which I didn’t find even slightly scary. This is quite better—I don’t think I’ve seen a haunted house story told this way and it works well.

Do you enjoy gimmick horror? Then may I recommend Azrael, whose gimmick is no dialogue at all. The premise is necessarily simple dimple: woman vs. cult set in a forest, with horror-level violence and also (well done) creepy The Descent-inspired monsters. One scene w/ them made me exclaim aloud.

Do you enjoy hyperviolent gun movies with surprisingly excellent action sequence direction and great cinematography? Then may I recommend Havoc, which believes guns don’t work unless the *entire* clip is used per target. That’s it, that’s the movie. Off brain, on popcorn, pew pew pew!

Do you enjoy thunderously boring sci-fi movies that make no sense even within their own universe? Then may I recommend Slingshot, which wastes two great actors on a trite and lazy script guided by a production team that take a big L.