_ghost

I broke u with steve to have some 'me' time. and maybe patch things up with fletch after a big talk we had last wednesday. but then i spent a wonderful weekend with steve. he gives me butterflies when he looks at me or touches me.
now i am more unsure than ever of what i want to do or who i want to be with.
i cant stop thinking about steve. and all the bad/sad feelings i had about mine and fletchers break up have been pushed back.
i am confused, do i really want to patch things up with him? or do i just need/want his friendship and forgiveness.
am i really ready to give up steve? at the moment he is the one person supporting me in every decision i make, even in breaking up with him he was so understanding. he is my light. he makes me so happy.
god i am confused.

i saw a psychic and she was utterly amazing, i didnt say a word and she knew every detail of my life, my thoughts my feelings. she wants to help me, and thinks she can, but also thinks that seeing a psychologist may be the real help i need, the only way to overcome my own issues with myself.



do i really need to live my life alone to find happiness with myself?

ive started doing things, to get myself out of my depression, setting goals for myself.
* i got my learner licence, and im learning to drive, eventually ill get a car and try for my licence.
* i want to get into childcare, and ive looked into going about getting all the necessary prerequisites.
* i want to get healthy, start cooking dinner and making a recipe book instead of eating canned soup or nothing at all every night.
* i want to join a dance class and start doing yoga at home.
* and then plan my europe trip with my sister for next year.

i want to find myself, and become a better me.