_faithless_

I heard a Blues Traveler's song earlier today and it made me feel at ease, happy then sad. It brought me back to when I actually knew what was going on in my little brothers life. When we were younger, living in hell but we knew we had each other. I'd give anything to feel that again. Anything.

Thank God its sunny again. I was starting to believe I'd brought the Chicago weather with me to L.A. You can smell the ocean in the wind today. Everything is in place, I feel settled. I LOVE this crazy tragic sometimes almost magic awful beautiful LIFE. I'm so lucky. I miss my friends.

Today is my second day in Cali. I love waking up with the brightest sun peeking thru my sliding glass doors. Knowing there are people not 20 feet away who love and care for me. Everything smells different, nothings buried under 8 inches of snow, there's outside seating @ nearly every restaurant, car washes, and palm trees. I can't take anything for granted. I'm grateful...
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First day out of the hospital. My brother is in from L.A. I made a huge mistake. How do you say your sorry?

My skins crawling. Change is awaited, intimate modification. Time to turn the corner.

I feel lately I don't fit into anyones life. Its thoroughly depressing. What to do?

"Olive merely sat in front of the fire, with her long legs stretched towwards it. Her eyes remained open, but almost expressionless; too resigned, I thought, even to look sad. Olive was by no means in her first youth, but there was something appealing about her, and, though it may not be a suitable comment for even this confidential record, I thought, by no means...
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