_dallas_

you really don't know a good thing when you have it. then when it's gone.... you're just fucked.

i have been so lonely and so bored since i got home from burying grandpa a week ago. and all that i want to do is go downstairs to his apartment and sit on his couch. enjoying a casual conversation and just his company in general. we would talk about work and the puppies, and watch whatever he would have on tv. we did that a lot, but not nearly enough.

i can't believe he's gone... still. i just keep telling myself he's on vacation. i even bought him something from disneyland after he passed. just a toy airplane that i knew he would have liked.

and with it being halloween time now, the season is just racing with his memories. his birthday is coming up soon, he would have been 81! and he loved to decorate the house and the yard for the holiday. plus, one whole night of the neighborhood kids coming to visit grandpa henry. they all adored him, as he did them. there really is a hole in the air without him here. nothing is the same.

i guess i didn't get as much closure at the burial as i thought i did.

so, when exactly is this supposed to get any easier?