i'm gonna put it in writing right here and now.

i am pretty damn anorexic. seriously. not in a "you're-so-thin-anorexic-ass-bitch" way, but anorexic in the sense that i try not to take in any more than 800-1000 calories a day. i used to be 200-something this time last year, but i just weighed myself and i'm floating between 148 and 149. i like being thin. i usually eat once every other day, or sometimes once every two days...

the only drawback is that i get really cold really easily.

that's how it goes. i'm not going to make excuses or anything. it's not because of my upbringing, and it's not as if i'm trying to get any extra attention from the ladies... i just like looking into the mirror and being able to see my collar-bones stick out. i like having visible hipbones.

maybe i'm weird and fucked-up but... sigh. everyone keeps telling me that i look fine, i need to stop losing weight, but i have to admit... it is addictive. it's like finding my own boundaries, seeing how far i can go.

all the customers who come into my work ask how i did it, being that most of them are middle aged people, who, in this town anyway, a lot of them seem to be all about losing some weight.. so i tell them i skateboard a lot (which i do) or i say i've been working out and eating vegetarian. i can't tell them to just stop eating and smoke more. it's not safe by any means... even from my fucked up perspective, i'm aware of that, at least.

*sigh*