_chris_

nothing to talk about today. i feel like shit right now. tomorrow should be fun. i am, once again, feeling the beginning of a nice sized migraine, so i'm going to go lay down and try to go to sleep, before it gets any worse.

i wish i had a fairy godmother who could simply wave her magic wand and make things better, or if not better, then change circumstances, names, and places, so that things are no longer familiar to me in any way, shape, or form.

she is the most beautiful person i can imagine. i can't even bring myself to meet her gaze half of the time, i can feel the blood rush to my face and the words disappear from my brain, only to say the first dumb thing that pops into my head. i know it's sappy and cliched, but when she smiles, it's the most wonderful thing in the world, from my perspective. i find myself often speaking and not knowing what i'm saying, directing my half-hearted statements to her delicate shoulder blades as she turns away. as much as i would like to think otherwise, this can never happen, and it's depressing as fuck.

ever wish you could go back in time and erase any and all traces of yourself? it would be as if you never existed. that sounds wonderful to me right at this moment.

i need to get out of this town. i'm going to lose my mind if i don't... and i don't think i have a particularly strong grasp on it, as it is.

good night.

-chris-