_chris_

i like to listen to music.

yes, i know... no surprise there. the thing is, that i really like to "listen" to music, uninterrupted. on a regular basis, i ignore friends and family members, simply to hear chord changes, cracking vocals, and breakdowns. i love to listen to every tiny little nuance of whatever it is that's playing at any given time. squeaks from running your hand up a guitar neck. the rattling noise you get from the snare drum as a result of amplifiers being turned up louder than the drummer can play. drum programming glitches. little quirks in general. i really dig every aspect of "my" music, everything from the obvious (lyrics) to the obscure little things a lot of people don't even pay attention to. there's some old smashing pumpkins song that i can't remember the name to (it was on "pisces iscariot" for all you sp fans), and in the liner notes, billy corgan said he recorded it on a 4-track in his bedroom and if you listen really hard, you can hear buses driving by in the background. that's the kind of nerdy shit i'm talking about...

indeed.

i'd really like to quit my job tomorrow, but i need the money, so i can't. if i keep being late and acting like i don't give a shit, i'm most likely going to get fired anyway. (that's all. i can't think of much else to say about that.)

linux is hard. i'm sure it's just because it's painfully unfamiliar to me in any capacity whatsoever, but still. it's going to be a while before things begin to sink in. i'm slow like that sometimes. it seems a lot better than windows though, so i'm determined to figure it out. i'm of the mindset that i would rather buy a relatively outdated, used sony vaio laptop from a friend for one hundred dollars, and set it up how i want it to be over however long it takes me, rather than buy a new computer. i actually do have the cash now to buy a new one too, so it's not as if i'm being cheap or anything. i told someone at work that i was planning on buying the tiny vaio laptop from a friend, and it's pretty slow as far as the current crop of laptops go, and it doesn't have much memory or storage (six gigs, i believe), but it's just cool as shit. the only operating system it has running on it is linux, hence the need to learn linux. i could just ask my friend to wipe it all out and install windows before i even get started, but what would be the fun in that?

happy halloween, everybody. today is my sister's birthday. i need to call her up or something. i hate using phones and feeling obligated to be social and whatnot, but it's her fucking birthday. now is not the time to think as i normally do.

anyway...

i stopped by my friend andy's work tonight. he works at some convenience store that's a pretty reasonable distance outside of fayetteville, and it takes forever to get there. i was really tired when i left my friend maia's/ct's/li's house, i was nodding off as i was sitting, watching tv on their couch, watching some show on the travel channel where these british people were being filmed live, talking to ghosts and spirits and whatnot. it's all very, very unconvincing, but interesting nonetheless.

the only reason i even drove all the way out there was the fact that i told him, last night, that i would. so i get there, and who's chilling there with andy? this guy i used to know and dislike intensely in high school. now he's a sheriff. i can't stand cops. i hate the police. it's an irrational thing, but it's genuine, if nothing else. this is a guy that i really don't care for in the first place, and now he's a fucking sheriff? holy shit. things are crazy sometimes. go figure. further proof that i need to get out of fayetteville.

i just remembered, i bought a "buy one get one free" pack of camel turkish golds, and i put them behind the counter because i was hanging out for a bit. i went to fill up with some gas, and then came back inside, all like "see ya... later... i'm going...", and i walked off and left my two packs of unopened cigarettes lying right there on the counter, next to the ashtray.

shit.

i wish i could give people stupid cuddly hugs at random, but only certain people. i wish i could slap the living shit out of people at random too, but again, only certain people. i'm sipping a glass of vanilla silk soy milk now and felt the need to share. vanilla silk has become "my shit". seriously. i think i might go pick up a bottle of vodka tomorrow sometime.

good night, people.