Soo....the abortion went fine, I think. The cramps were manageable with Vicodin/Tramadol/Beer. The bleeding wasn't even that bad--like a normal period but I have to wear pads---EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel fine this morning, so I hope it's over.
I went to bed at like eleven (passed out would be more like it). The boys went to a party and didn't come home. I'm so freakin curious about how it was. Most likely they got too drunk and passed out at Ian's and are still sleeping. But what if not? My curiousity is killin me.
I just hate being left out of any fun.
And I hate that I worry about Shawn not protecting himself and giving me something nasty. If he didn't know how to use a condom right with me who's to say he'll even use one? Who's to say if he's drunk he won't go down on some chick who might have something gross? This is all I'm really paranoid about. I don't care how much other pussy he gets as long as he protects himself (us).
The other thing is a standards thing. He has such low standards and I really don't want to find out he's been fucking girls I think are lame/nasty/fugly/stupid/sluts because that makes me respect him less...and never want to fuck him again.
Which would be a shame because it's a pain in the ass to find a guy I like to fuck and it's a pain in the ass to make sure that guy is clean. Not that Shawn's the best fuck ever, but it's the comfort zone, you know?
yah, so. I'm sittin here waiting for them to get home to hear the stories. I guess I should use my time off more productively, but hey. I'll get motivated. In a little while.
I'm lonely. I miss having a best friend to talk to all the time. I miss havin my sidekick with me to party. I have all day off and a party to go to tonight and no one to chill with. Okay so that's not entirely true. I'm sure if I went through my phone book I could find someone to hang out. Just not my plp.
Today's a good day in spite of all the crap! The sun is shining.
I went to bed at like eleven (passed out would be more like it). The boys went to a party and didn't come home. I'm so freakin curious about how it was. Most likely they got too drunk and passed out at Ian's and are still sleeping. But what if not? My curiousity is killin me.
I just hate being left out of any fun.
And I hate that I worry about Shawn not protecting himself and giving me something nasty. If he didn't know how to use a condom right with me who's to say he'll even use one? Who's to say if he's drunk he won't go down on some chick who might have something gross? This is all I'm really paranoid about. I don't care how much other pussy he gets as long as he protects himself (us).
The other thing is a standards thing. He has such low standards and I really don't want to find out he's been fucking girls I think are lame/nasty/fugly/stupid/sluts because that makes me respect him less...and never want to fuck him again.
Which would be a shame because it's a pain in the ass to find a guy I like to fuck and it's a pain in the ass to make sure that guy is clean. Not that Shawn's the best fuck ever, but it's the comfort zone, you know?
yah, so. I'm sittin here waiting for them to get home to hear the stories. I guess I should use my time off more productively, but hey. I'll get motivated. In a little while.
I'm lonely. I miss having a best friend to talk to all the time. I miss havin my sidekick with me to party. I have all day off and a party to go to tonight and no one to chill with. Okay so that's not entirely true. I'm sure if I went through my phone book I could find someone to hang out. Just not my plp.
Today's a good day in spite of all the crap! The sun is shining.
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dont settle.