_catalyst_

Last night my boi woke me up and said we had to talk. he was pissed. Then he proceeded to tell me that he feels like he never gets laid and why are we together. He said he feels like banging his head against the wall.

Since then I've been deep in thought about our relationship and whether it's good for us. I love him. But if he's not happy then so be it.

I just see this cycle repeating itself. Me giving him pity sex, everything going fine for awhile. One in ten times it will be good. Then I will get distracted by girls or bored. Then I won't put out and he'll get pissed again.

So either he's gotta accept less sex and I've gotta accept mediocre sex, or we've gotta break up.

Okay fine. I can deal with this, even though I think it will suck if we stop being close and all.

But then I start thinking of the changes in circumstance. Then I get depressed. I can't even afford to suport myself. I'm 23 and I have to go crawling back to Mom and Dad.

I haven't (and fear I won't) got anything worthwhile to show for my life.