_catalyst_

ah, monday.

i'm supposed to have a talk with my boss today. well today was the date he set, whether he remembers or cares or not.

this marks the end of a two week probationary period. according to my last review i am 'an overall disappointment as a manager'.

this is quite bullshit for many reasons. i am not going to drag anyone down reciting...
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Sets like Xoilita's are why I joined sg.

I love personality like that, don't you?

does anyone else cuss a hell of a lot more when they get off work, as a result of holding it all in for all those hours?

i do.

fuckin a.

i'm sick of looking at my life as one big 'to do' list. i avoid waking as long as possible, holding back the flood of frantic thought that has been so much more peaceful in slumber.

i want my life to be one big 'to enjoy' list.
i want my first thought to be of something wonderful.
i want to close my eyes with a...
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i never think i have anything to write about til i start writing.

i went to the river with the girls this weekend. it was just what i needed. two days of no cares.

i am burnt beyond recognition. i have decided i hate getting tan now. i like myself white. the only thing i really like is when my butt is white like the...
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k so my coffeehouse is waaay haunted. not too threatening, thank goodness.

at first i though there were just two, maybe a father and a son? i believe there was a fire, and the property used to be a farm or ranch. the large entity is very protective of his space and his 'son'. a very hot energy, and he likes to hide behind doors...
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well,

i feel bad. apparently i was talking mad shit last night in the car on the way home... that's perfectly normal for me, especially considering i was drunk as hell. i guess i was talking shit about mikey's (my roommate) cousin and she could hear me through the phone. then everyone was yelling at me, shawn especially. so i pouted for like 5 minutes...
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i got too busy to finish my 'what makes me happy' list the other day. i shall have to get back to it soon.

so basically my mad partying spree is over. i still want to get drunk with my homies of course. i'm just gonna be more selective about when, coz there are waaay too many good things for me to be focusing on...
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K so I've been watching Saved By the Bell for two solid hours.

I barely remember watching that show when I was younger.

Now I find myself tearing up every five minutes!

It's the one where Zach and Kelly get married.

This show is so, I dunno, pure.

need happy things to focus on.

time to make a list.

hold on, first i need my lifeblood...

k music's on.

what makes me feel happy?

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1)Trance........especially with piano or wind instruments...........

2)Playing the piano..........I can't wait to get one again!!!

3)Dancing..........when no one's watching and under the stars, especially....

4)Raves.........the combined energy of the crowd at these events leaves me charged for days....I...
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