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I was masturbating in my bedroom when I heard something crash

My publicist (yes, I really have one of those) is mental. She has all the social and familial histories of someone who could only ever be mental. Her father is a well-known American TV celeb, she used to date a very famous actor, a very famous writer, a not-so famous writer and, latterly, one...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
the_reverend:
COME BACK! MK says hi.
blackberry:
Un abrazo from Chile!!!!!

amor amour love

<3 <3 <3 *-*
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I'm going to delete my testimonials. To those who left one, thanks ever so, but I hate that they're on my journal page as if I'm some desperate validation-seeking 16-year old.


I'm a desperate validation-seeking 33-year old, as such if I want anything there it's going to be nuns or ewoks or Bea Arthur.

I'd like to think that...
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smuffy:
why did you delete them!?

they will probably disappear!!!
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Fucking re-re-design!

I'm all about the gah!

I don't think I've ever experienced a company fly in the face of its membership so devastatingly as this site. Maybe it wants to alter the demographic. Maybe it wants a membership made entirely of 18-year old fuckwits. Maybe they just let the monkeys pull the levers in the office. Maybe they just don't...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
crivelli:
I honestly can't see that it matters, the site (silent 'h') is on a steady dribble down the back of your leg anyway. It's quite right that the background is flock wallpaper.
aksiokersa:

I am passing your book out at The Nondenominational Inclusive Celebration That Just Happens To Cooccur With What is Not Actually The Day of Anyone in Particular's Birth this year. You fucking twat.
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I'm not one to post about the girls' sets because as you all know I'm a very devout and religious man and for me looking at a lady's doody is something that should be performed within the sanctity of one's kennel. Normally I never look at hot naked ladies. Or nuns. Or the Golden Girls. Or ewoks. And little baby Jesus...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
oracle:
so, what part of scotland are you in?
deleteddelete:
Oi gammonflaps - we still on for the 2nd?
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AAARRRR-HEEEYYYY-ARR
aaarrrr-heeeyyy-arrr

Welcome to Disco Zombie

AAARRRR-HEEEYYYY-ARR
aaarrrr-heeeyyy-arrr

Tonight, ladies and gentleman, I am the hunter and you are my quarry

AAARRRR-HEEEYYYY-ARR
aaarrrr-heeeyyy-arrr

Only joking

AAARRRR-HEEEYYYY-ARR
aaarrrr-heeeyyy-arrr

Or am I?

<<Don't you ever, don't you ever stop being dandy showing me you're handsome.>>

<<Don't you ever, don't you ever stop being dandy showing me you're handsome.>>

Tonight...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
alyk:
Is this in braille, because I have no idea what you're talking about, sir!
mistress:
(I'm a top, but I'm always on the lookout for a bottom).

God that was priceless!
I almost spat my beer on the screen!

Oh it's just so good to have you back.... with, or without, your love juice chunnels intact!
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The Tallywhacker Miracle

Thank ye, oh, Lord, for the lead ye putteth in my pencil...

Ladies and gentlemen: The Penis. It's ugly, knarled and knows how to make old women cry in the Safeway carpark, but don't underestimate it. For Little Elvis is remarkable in many ways and can do many things that Uncle Tommy may not have made you aware of during...
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VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
the_reverend:
So, whacked yer tally this weekend?
alyk:
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Who the hell is this woman, and what the hell does she want?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
walkswithbears:
thats some deformity! i have a wandering third hand as a result of chemical experiments i signed up for as a student.

chicks don't dig that. blackeyed
dannymanic:
She's after you, buddy. Careful now.

Im off stateside just for a new life. Im gonna start a sports bar to show both American and English sports. Basically i can get the $$ in and watch footy at the same time.
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Fabooooooo!

I've got me an Elvis Group!!!!

Get on over there and join, y'all.

And then marvel at how you've managed to live without it.




This is the best day ever!!!!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
d0bermann:
Thank you .
kiss

[Edited on May 01, 2005 6:59AM]
spinky:
Not a problem biggrin now we have a you as our brilliant leader
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VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
the_reverend:
Hmm. Yes. Hmm.
geza_x:
hunka hunka burnin elvis.