zenexistence

So, my boy Frankie and I got my ole' Harley Ironhead (named Sally, thank you) running again today. It spews oil like a drunk after too much tequila and Dennys at 4AM and I need to replace a gasket but it sounds tuff as hell and I'm sure it'll piss off the neighbors.

But you know what?

Fuck the neighbors.

Sally is off and runnin'....
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You know, I thought I had worked myself up to a pretty good tolerance where beer is concerned. Having said this, one might assume that this would be a lateral statement towards liquor, meaning that I could belt down a few bourbon and soft drinks and not feel too much.

Wrong.

I've had two liberally divided Jim Beam Black and Cherry Vanilla Dr Peckers and...
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Filet mignon.

I just had some.

It was delicious.

It made me sick.

That is all.

I hate Wal-mart.

Regardless, I still find myself going there often based on the sole fact of location, location, location. Granted, that is a sole fact stated three times but it is a sole fact nonetheless.
I feel as if I am betraying Target, which is my newfound paramour. I like to pronounce it Tar-zhay because A) it makes her (yes, I call Target a...
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I've been eating too much. Damn holidays. I'm going for the Scotty McFatface look, I think.

Because you all loved it as a kid, here are lyrics to the best song off of 'Emmet Otters Jug-Band Christmas' ... if you don't know this holiday special then you need to be flogged, tarred and feathered.



A Mess of Mama's Barbecue

When you meet somebody that don't like soul food
They still got a soul
And it don't mean that you got no...
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I have decided to live my life by two rules today (and possibly the rest of the week):

1) Beer is life. This is very similar to the 'spice is life' quote from those of you familiar with Frank Herbert's Dune series.

2) Regardless as to whether or not I'm wrong you're not right. It just makes things easier to swallow and seeing as I...
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I decided my life was too boring and took it upon myself to make things more exciting.

So I dropped my glasses in the way into work, never realized this throughout the day and then prompty started my truck and ran them over upon leaving work.

I had to get them to stay together with super glue and then I colored the super glue with...
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So, my Christmas tree is up. And it has a minute stainless steel piggy bank on it with funny messages in it and a devil duck tree-topper. Be jealous.

Oh, yes, I said Christmas tree.

Fuck you and your politically-correct "happy holidays" "seasons greetings," " hannu-kwanza-christma-easter-arbor day-combined bullshit.

As a child it was called Christmas. I will continue to wish people 'Merry Christmas". If you're...
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