wildseven's SuicideGirls Blog

i snapped for the last time last night. luckily i was in bed, so i couldn't do anything. it came too close this time though. this isn't working. have to see the doctor. these meds are making it worse. i'll add more later if anything happens

jackwolfe:

Fight the good fight, my friend.

Dec 20, 2009

scientistofsleep:

.x.

Dec 21, 2009

alright. even though i said no blogs for a while, i've changed my fuckin mind. i'm not sad anymore. i'm just fuckin angry. i'm just pissed off in general and i thought i'd take it out on myself earlier. i need to sort my shit out but i'll still be on here. not as much, but this site's too big a deal to abandon entirely....
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gfys:

Take a deep breath and try to pick yourself up. Hugs and Kisses

Dec 19, 2009

scientistofsleep:

in the words of Mr Rotten, 'anger is an energy', maybe if you can channel it (how new-age does that sound?!) into something productive you'll bring yourself out of it.x.
hope you feel better either way.x.

Dec 19, 2009

Unless things drastically change, this is going to be my last blog for a while. A long while. Hope to be back soon. At some stage. I'll probably miss going into Chat.

I don't know what else to do other than type. I'm just sad. Very sad. I'm so damn lonely. It's not fair. I just keep wishing that every time i go to sleep...
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pinkie_:

I've been trying to hail you on comms (msn). <2

Dec 19, 2009

scarringthewound:

HUGS!

Gawd, e-hugs are shite.

Dec 19, 2009

Sometimes do you ever just want to sleep. Sleep for a long time. And not wake up. Forget about everything you have and know and just stop for a while. Shut your brain down and just not think about anything. Just for a little while. Just a break from the sound of my own voice. Not to worry about anything for just a little while....
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schweitz:

i think about this all the time...

Dec 18, 2009

I am so fucking angry right now. For the first time in a long while i really wish i could kill someone. Not just anyone, someone in particular. I haven't felt like this since i was 16, and my second surgery went awry, but at least i still know that it's in there somewhere. You know the type of deep-seated, pure anger that sometimes grips...
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mrbubblewarp:

After all the epic blogs you've written and you think this short one we'd stop halfway? the fog will pass and so will the anger. keep your dreams in your heart and you will reach them.

Dec 16, 2009

angad19:

Best of luck buddy. You know i'm always here if you need anything.

Dec 16, 2009

Thanks a million to everyone lending support over the last two blogs. I've been a bit rude by not replying to loads of comments, and i just wanted to say that they aren't going unnoticed. They've really lightened up the dark times i've been going through lately. Replies aren't coming easy this time. Maybe it's from all the changes, i'm not sure, but i just...
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melaniek:

<33333
P.S. I know that you will overcome any negativity

Dec 13, 2009

scientistofsleep:

i have no doubt that you will come through this dark time, from what ive read in some of your previous blogs i know you have high hopes for life and dont want to let it pass you. keep yourself happy, not other people, not your parents either.
.x.

Dec 14, 2009

Short and sweet this time. Sarcastic of course. Downward spiral after the last blog is worse than i thought it would be. I've tried my hand at drawing, poetry and writing and it's all terrible. Hands won't do what my brain wants. I feel like i've been punched in the gut over and over and i've lost my appetite. One meal a day is all...
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repo_man:

I've only known you for a short while and only on this 10" screen, but I can only think that you are a person we need on this planet for awhile longer, so get up. Be.

Dec 11, 2009

horror_head:

It'd be a shame to lose you.

I too, have no anecdotes about any type of sexual encounter, but don't care.

Just remember that you have value and are valued.

Dec 12, 2009

I promised epic and i'm planning on delivering! This is the start of THE blog. At the minute i'm 100% certain that this is my plan! My final, definite course of action. This is the blog explaining everything i've been trying to find for the past while. I think this may even be my life. My existence. What i've been searching for my whole life....
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dioscuri:

Good stuff, hope you get what you want out of it. good luck dude!
me and science never really hit it of to begin with so in my book you've made a good call!

Dec 10, 2009

tadic:

you're living the generation of accomplishment and your going to live the dream...

i remember my last few exams, i walked in completely unprepared and walked out baffled. its funny to this day i still wish i had been more prepared for them.

as for the stress factor your incurring, maybe a lifestyle/work/career change will serve you well and bring out exactly what you want in life but dont rush into anything or out of anything.

I know you dont sound interested in exams but why throw in the towel, you're nearly at the finish line man, kick it up a notch and finish the job; 1st its stop this, then stop that, all it takes is one thing like this to throw you off your game competely. you know you're smart so even if you're gonna quit school or the course at least go out on your best.

I wonder now about your change, is it just a phase? how long will it last? will you look back with regret in a month or a year or longer?

If its for good and i hope it is then Good luck and godspeed

Dec 15, 2009

It. I've found it. This is it. The big thing. THE it. The it to end all it's. My super-mega-epic uber-blog is under construction. I mean THE blog to end all blogs. Coming soon... I'm talking "That's no moon..." epic. It'll be the longest one ever

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tadic:

i didn't think the legend was true

Dec 7, 2009

scientistofsleep:

...its pretty epic, i think i need to make a cup of tea andmaybe indulge in a chocolate bar before diving into it

Dec 8, 2009

Ok folks. It's that time again. Except this time it'll be an actual blog instead of a list of random shit i hate. I don't have a lot to say though, so it's gonna be short. I'm sick of being single and alone. If i don't do something soon i'm afraid i'll slide even further into the abyss of solitude and this time it'll be...
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angad19:

Do some people crush harder than others?

Yeah, I think this is possible. Some people just don't give in to their crush-y feelings as easily as others. That said, I've had big crushes and small crushes in my life and consequently, hard crushes and fluffy crushes. It depends a lot on whom you're crushing on and where you're coming from. As you said, there's no perfect inertial frame of reference which makes gauging things more difficult than they should be .

While the ability TO mate is innate, I'm not so sure about the ability to attract a mate. That said, I do think that one will naturally attract some people to himself/herself just by being whom they are so while the ability to attract may not be encoded in all our minds, the ability to be attracted surely is. Both of these create the same result, just through different means .