wolfwood1203

Haven't slept. Can't sleep. Seem to be having a fairly serious anxiety attack. Tempted to take a Xanax, but then I won't wake up until some time in the evening. Need something to de-stress that won't knock me on my ass for the rest of the day. I swear, every time I start to feel like things are looking up, my asshole brain kicks me...
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Well, another year gone by. Another year older. But am I any wiser? Debatable.

39... It's a wild number considering I wasn't sure I'd make it much further than 30 at best.

Not for lack of trying.

But now that scar on my wrist is important to me. It's proof that I survived my lowest point in life. It's proof that I'm stronger than I...
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I wanted to talk about this last time I posted about music. But that video I posted last time was heavy enough on it's own. Truth be told this song broke me. It's another one from that same artist, Ren.

The first part of the song feels like he's talking about being suicidal. But 'it never really felt like the right time'. The lyrics describe...
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It occurs to me that in ten days I'm going to be 39. I normally don't care, but something about this one hurts.

Oh right, my back.

My back hurts.

I'm old.

Fuck...

But I'm choosing to believe. In the two weeks that I've finally been active on threads to promote The Ones Left Behind (you knew I was going to include the link), I've somehow gained 113 followers. I know that's not a lot to some people. But to someone like me, it's insane.

For whatever reason, there are over a hundred people out there who decided...
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How do people do it? How do people make social media their entire lives? I'm doing it to try to sell my book, The Ones Left Behind. But my freaking social battery drains so fast. I know the interactions are good for potential sales. But seeing all of the notifications pop up is so stressful.

I'm going from hopeful about things, to severely depressed, and back again in record times. How do I not have whiplash? Trying to sleep, but insomnia. I can't help but wonder what kind of day tomorrow (today?) is going to be, hopeful or depressed?

Okay, how wild is this? I'm starting the new year having accomplished my dream. I'm a published author, holding a copy of MY book. I have a book. Granted, I still have a long road ahead. But it's still amazing.

Even though I feel so dirty having to constantly promote my book. Still, I do believe that it's worth your time.

I'm going to try to stay positive, even though for me it's always so easy not to.

This last year brought some interesting people into my life. And I'm grateful to have them here. Hopefully this new year continues that trend of meeting awesome people. I won't bother tagging, since I'm sure you're all out having fun in your own ways.

It's been 6 weeks....
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That's a new one.

Context time.

I was playing helldivers earlier with some friends. Occasionally, one of their nephews joins us. Kid's in his early 20's, and is a decent enough guy. So as we're playing, we're catching up, and he asks how I've been doing. Been a while, so I told him about my book getting published. He says that's badass, and to send...
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You know I'm not a fan of social media. But because I'm trying to sell my book I have to try. I've made a few posts on Instagram, to little to no fanfare.

I've been on threads for a while, mainly just lurking. I decided to post my first post there the other day. I figure, maybe one or two people will see it at...
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To be able to do all of the things... Sigh......

I just don't have the energy for the things I need to do. But I'm not writing this with negativity in mind. What I mean is, I'm not in a state of despair or frustration at the moment. More of a whimsical musing.

Mainly I'm writing this at the moment to say thank you to...
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