Velocity Meets A Creepy Old Guy Who Has Nothing Better To Do In His Golden Years But Volunteer At The Polling Place
Creepy Old Guy: Aw, little lady needs a sticker!
Velocity: No, thanks.
COG: Here, let me help you with that. *SPLOIT* (Right over the nipple)
Velocity thinks this is not typically where stickers go.
COG: Oh, goodness. I seem to have put it...
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Creepy Old Guy: Aw, little lady needs a sticker!
Velocity: No, thanks.
COG: Here, let me help you with that. *SPLOIT* (Right over the nipple)
Velocity thinks this is not typically where stickers go.
COG: Oh, goodness. I seem to have put it...
Read More
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
archernu:
I have no doubt that your knives are downright horrifying. Fortunately the presentation was postponed; so if you ship overnight, I'll receive a fourth blade in time to ensure that mine is the only voice heard on Friday.
Offering to let me borrow knives... You rock.
Offering to let me borrow knives... You rock.
thesinner:
My parents had an Petula Clark album, She was pretty. Way to go Sean.
Funny shit velocity!
Funny shit velocity!
Nothing says "Pretentious Twat" more than a man in a turtleneck and corduroy suitcoat with elbow patches talking on a cell phone while riding a Harley Davidson. I was almost run off the road by said pretentious twat yesterday while on my way home from my last day at the Most Horrible Job in the Universe, and even that couldn't dampen my mood. Things are...
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unravled:
Harley? Are you sure you don't mean Vespa?
unravled:
Not even if you put snow tires on it?
I saw an old dirty hobo propped up against a street sign, holding a sign that said, "WILL WORK FOR SEX".
So ...you know... if anyone's looking, I can point you in the right direction.
So ...you know... if anyone's looking, I can point you in the right direction.
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chloe:
snicker snicker
Last night I saw a bum with a sign that said "HOMELY" and something about just wanting beer. Crazily enough, it did NOT prompt me to give him any money!
[Edited on Oct 29, 2004 2:39PM]
Last night I saw a bum with a sign that said "HOMELY" and something about just wanting beer. Crazily enough, it did NOT prompt me to give him any money!
[Edited on Oct 29, 2004 2:39PM]
unravled:
NO! You're mine! MINE!
unravled:
Awwwwww!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Today I used the phrase "a hotbed of man-smut" in conversation, and it made me giggle like a Japanese schoolgirl. Now I'm looking for every possible opportunity to use it again.
Speaking of a hotbed of man-smut, I'm turning thirty tomorrow and consequently I'll have many better things to do than dork around on the internet this weekend. Miss me.
Speaking of a hotbed of man-smut, I'm turning thirty tomorrow and consequently I'll have many better things to do than dork around on the internet this weekend. Miss me.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
armadillofuzz:
happy birthday.
deckwreck:
Here's to three decades of awesome!
Everybody knows that I've got monkeys wearing clothes to clean up all the messes I've made.
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adjunct:
All of the poo being flung arond was sort of an indicator, I think.
mistersatan:
I'll see what I can do.
Most friendly auspicious fun time for new opportune job! Velocity has giant promote! Wow happy fun to now celebration!
(Engrish rules.)
(Engrish rules.)
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
mistersatan:
I've worked phones before, and yes, it does stoke the fires of hatred deep within one's soul. But for three more dollars an hour than I'm making now, I just might be willing to do it. We'll see how well I can bullshit my way through DSL technology today.
Thanks for the insight about companies, though- that's something I hadn't realized.
Thanks for the insight about companies, though- that's something I hadn't realized.
hussein:
Concerning engrish.com saying to me so thank you! 
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unravled:
Turtle power!
dogslife:
I thank you and your breastal region for your support.
My new favorite word: Autobubbling, meaning a pleasure spin.
Come away with me, Lucille
In my merry Oldsmobile,
Over the road of life we'll fly
Autobubbling you and I.
-Gus Edwards, 1905
It was such a beautiful day yesterday and the leaves were turning lovely colors, I went autobubbling by myself down along the river. I love this time of year.
Come away with me, Lucille
In my merry Oldsmobile,
Over the road of life we'll fly
Autobubbling you and I.
-Gus Edwards, 1905
It was such a beautiful day yesterday and the leaves were turning lovely colors, I went autobubbling by myself down along the river. I love this time of year.
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archernu:
That the workshop only accepts seventeen people a year also makes it rather exclusive. I don't know that I even have a chance of getting in, but, hey, it's worth a shot - though the timing may make the whole deal impossible. As you so aptly mentioned, I need to eat, and taking a six week writer's vacation won't exactly pay my bills. At least not yet.
Well, that'll teach me to think I have my shit together.
Edited to add another sentence for the sake of poor unravled, who's having a hard time following along.
A few days ago, I had a moment of epiphany and realized that, contrary to what I'd thought for the past twenty nine years, I actually did have my shit together. Then in a moment...
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Edited to add another sentence for the sake of poor unravled, who's having a hard time following along.
A few days ago, I had a moment of epiphany and realized that, contrary to what I'd thought for the past twenty nine years, I actually did have my shit together. Then in a moment...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
unravled:
Well I got all that. You're extraordinarily weak on details, however.
dogslife:
I try not to consider things like "togetherness" and "my shit" at the same time. It's easier to sleep that way.
I think I have all of my proverbial ducks in a pile.
I feel okay.
I feel okay.
archernu:
Aren't piles just a type of vertical organization? I like piles. Who's to say that a row of ducks is that rad anyhow? Fuck rows. (And ducks. Goats are much cooler.)
_schmoe:
whatever floats your skirt up. 
actually, i'm thinking of 3 or 4, but how much is one?
and are you really gonna be this way soon?? that would be sooo rad.