Thursday Jan 20, 2005

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THE LOOPHOLE

The loophole is to the twentieth century what the frontier was to the nineteenth--a way out, a psychological fire escape. Loopholes, however, are not for everyone. They are hidden, like Easter Eggs, and can only be found with the assistance of highly paid counsel. This monument is suitable for corporate plazas and also looks very handsome atop grain elevators.

-Donald Barthelme, Monuments
adjunct:
I think the creamy skin of young babes really deserves a nice hollandaise. That, or it's like eating hot dogs on white bread- a delicacy at certain AA baseball stadiums- which calls for yellow mustard.

I wish I'd read that book when I was assigned it.
squid_vicious:
That would explain the smell...


Oh wait, no. That's just the hippies. This is Santa Cruz after all.

Wednesday Jan 19, 2005

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I dropped a raisin this morning, and found it a few hours later when I put on my shoe. I've just spent the last few minutes scrubbing the final remnants of raisin off my big toe.

Wednesday Jan 19, 2005

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I have an agreement with myself that I will not talk about my job in this space. Lately I find that I have little else to talk about, as my job seems to be all I've been doing.

I could talk about making oatmeal, watching Antiques Roadshow or knitting hats with ears on them, but even I don't want to read about that.

I'm not...
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ginny:
I'd love to read about knitting hats--especially if they have ears on them.

But then, I'm not really exciting either.
adjunct:
The excitement of my week so far has been cutting my finger to the bone while chopping off a chunk of frozen ginger. Sometimes, things just slow down a bit.

A friend of mine's dad is on AR sometimes. That's exciting!

Monday Jan 17, 2005

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If we ever find ourselves in a situation where I find it necessary to tell you there is not one thing I can help you with, please save me the frustration and you the humiliation of what would result from forcing me to repeat myself. Please, I'm asking nicely, just assume that I'm dead fucking serious.
acidgrampa:
Is there something you can help me with?
adjunct:
Well, is there something I can help you with?

And no, I won't help you hide the bodies.

Tuesday Jan 11, 2005

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I just found some rice in my sandwich. Given that I was the maker of the sandwich and I put no rice in it, I'm a little bit confused.
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unravled:
Now I want a cotton candy hat.
ginny:
Have you seen The Invisible Man Returns? I think it's a pretty good illustration of what a drunk Vincent Price was like.

Saturday Jan 08, 2005

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Oxford has the best words of the day, hands down. Example, from my inbox today:

Theoplasm

[THEE-oh-plaz-um] A rare word meaning 'the stuff of which gods are made'.

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adjunct:
But does the OED do theme weeks? I guess I should just sign up and find out for myself.
menotyou:
That is wicked cool.

Theoplasm is not listed in the Merriam-Webster dictionary however.

Thursday Jan 06, 2005

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I'm going to the dog show this weekend. I'm also having my grandmother over for tea, so I took the day off to clean. It was about time, anyway.

I also plan to do some sketching. After a week like this has been, it'll be nice to relax. Too bad it's fucking -10 outside. I'd love to go to the park. Cities this far north...
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ginny:
Of course I still have a crush on you. You are my knitting hero.

Dogs are the best.
archernu:
Capital "V?" I missed something.

Wednesday Jan 05, 2005

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I'm trying desperately to convince myself it's not going to be one of those days. Keep your fingers crossed, please.
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archernu:
Isn't that a double-negative, unraveled? Aren't you thereby cursing velocity to one of those days? A clever ploy.

For my part, though, I'm crossing my *pens.* If that doesn't provide at least a fraction of (modern) shamanistic protection, I don't know what would.
adjunct:
I crossed them, but sorry, from this end it looks like it turned out to be one of those days.

Tuesday Jan 04, 2005

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Today, because I think it should be, is stichomancy day. (Here's a dictionary, kids. Look it up.)

A book chosen at random from the shelf, a page chosen at random from the book, and here's what our future holds for today:

"Giles had recently fallen into the habit of sleeping in his clothes--or "ready-dressed," as he liked to think of it. All that needed...
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ginny:
"It was not the custom to say "please" and "thank you" and Mary had always slapped her Ayah in the face when she was angry. She wondered a little what this girl would do if one slapped her in the face. She was a round, rosy, good-natured-looking creature, but she had a sturdy way which made Mistress Mary wonder if she might not even slap back--if the person who slapped her was only a little girl." Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Saturday Jan 01, 2005

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Last night as I was going to sleep, I thought to myself, "I'd really like to have a dream about the upcoming year."

I dreamed about zombies. Consider yourselves warned.

Edit: If you ever want to feel like the youngest person on the face of the earth, go grocery shopping at 8:30 am New Year's Day.
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adjunct:
I watched a documentary on panda bears last week. It was, of course, very cute. Yesterday, I sat through an documentary on some incredibly ugly whales and I thought, 'velocity would like this.' Same for the 'making of the wing of a stealth bomber' documentary from a couple weeks ago.
_schmoe:
was the zombie dream fortelling about the shopping trip? surreal

Wednesday Dec 29, 2004

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Last night I dreamed that a man made of cactus pulp came up with the perfect plan to save the world. He nominated me to implement the plan, and I ruled benevolently for forty years. In all that time, I only ever saw his hands. He had retractable spines.
archernu:
I've been at my parent's house in Connecticut since the 23rd. As of then I hadn't received anything in the mail. I called home last weekend to check and was told by my roommates that nothing had come. I'll call and badger them again today, when they get off of work -- as it's more than likely that they both overlooked the blue package slip.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, and I hope you had a good holiday.
zaksmith:
I was just watching "Frasier". he's bickering with his dad.

Dad--What are we watching?
Frasier--"Trapped On A Mountain"
D--They don't look trapped to me...

(argument ensues)

D--...Why don't you go watch TV somewhere else!!?
F--Why don't I go watch TV somewhere else? INDEED? And WHERE shall I go? Shall I go to a nearby DOCUMENTARY BAR and watch it on the TV THERE?

Tuesday Dec 28, 2004

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Since I'm not getting email at work, Bob told me that every time there was an update he'd print it, tie it around the neck of a puppy and fling it at me (and he's the one we don't call Crazy Bob). I missed the staff meeting yesterday, and Bob asked me where I was. I said, "I didn't get a puppy on that."
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