Thursday Aug 01, 2002

0
"When I am dying, I will not be thinking of you, I will be thinking of my politics...."

..politics?
what the fuck..

how can i love someone that could actually say that?



considerately:
"just remember i will always love you,
even as i tear your fucking throat away."

Wednesday Jul 31, 2002

0
Today, I blew a tire.

Now that wouldnt be such a big deal, normally.
However, rediculous irony has again made iteself a home... right up my ass.

Now, I own an ,02 VW.
The vehicle owner needs a special key to remove the tire and rim from the car.
Of course (of course), my car simply didnt come with the key.
They forgot to pack...
Read More
saturn1:
urgh....i'm sorry to hear that. it's one of those weeks, no?

it'll get better though, you know that.

Tuesday Jul 30, 2002

0
today was one of absolute extremes.

i slipped even further from someone i love.
i am non reactive.
the bank raped me up the ass, somehow.

life is a wicked, twisted joke.
dia:
isn't it though?
or is it.
I can't quite decide, lemme know if you do.
saturn1:
i hope the bank thing worked out - it has to, that's insane.

re: slipping further from loved ones : i think at this point i'm finding it funny. hilarious even. it's like a cruel practical joke. guess we should laugh with whoever is laughing at us then, eh? sorry about that though, do i know the feeling...

Thursday Jul 25, 2002

0
....back in Detroit.

getting away was entirely necessary.
I completed more writing and photography in those fourteen days than i have in several months previous.

im lazy.

Colorodo is a pretty state.
Everything seems alot more polished than detroit.
I would never want to live there.

I visited the remains of the Haymen (SP?) fire.
In it's own way, the burnt forest is quite beautiful....
Read More
saturn1:
i'm glad it was an experience in lieu of not being anything at or counter-productive. at least you have enough sense to see that you want to be wanted passionately. i fucked up two relationships that were on two oppostite ends of the spectrum, one being me not feeling passion and the other wanting it from someone who was unwilling to let it be even if it was felt. things may be better if i'd just let it go. learned my lesson i guess...but you've probably saved yourself a lot of unescessary pain. life is weird,

the thing about psychics is that they can see what will happen if you choose a certain path but things change completely based on your decisions. i was a raised by a woman that may have saved my life a couple times and gave me no choice but to recognize that there is another sense that most of us ignore.

anyways, thanks for the kind email.

Tuesday Jul 09, 2002

0
so.. Ive decided to just get into my car and drive.
where to? Colorado, or a state out in that general direction.
I will explore some, and photograph some, maybe.

I just had to get the fuck away from here.
Detroit is suffocating.


saturn1:
colorado is nice...though my friend just came back and said her allergies were really bad from the air/smoke.

though i think detroit becomes something uncomparable once you've been gone a while..and in a good way. i know when i lived there though, i got frustrated with the condition of a lot of thing, mostly because those sorts of things wouldn't happen in any other city. ahh well..
jamy:
you have good dread locks

Tuesday Jul 02, 2002

0
another sleepless night.

insomnia is the necrosis that rots my sanity.
christ.
perhaps if i had less shit bothering me, or if i were just a tiny bit dumber, i wouldnt have this problem.

i had to deal with some major screw-overs this past week. the universe must have it out for me, either that, or i am being told loud and clear that i...
Read More
saturn1:
probably in the place not really right for you ...i think i realized that smack in the middle of one of the shittiest times of my life. then i moved back to michigan and my life changed and it all has gotten progressivly better. that's the simple version, but i don't think we're ever given something that is meaningless.

at least i hope not.
saturn1:
bah. i don't think you want me to ask! I am nearly smitten.

Saturday Jun 29, 2002

0
Voltaire is such a stunning girl..

has anyone heard of the singer Voltaire?
Also, a quite stunning person.

I spent the better part of my night and morning in a silly absinthe stupor. for awhile i thought i was having a conversation with my guest, but actually never spoke a word to him.

Such is the green fairy, i suppose.

saturn1:
i'll take you up on hat i think...i want to find a new spot other than the usual motor or st. andrew's...

yea i definitely have used making people feel bad as a method of control...but i don't as much anymore because it just sabatoges everything and i don't want that kind of control anymore...it;s just that when other people do it to me my instinct tells me to do it back and sometimes i do before i have a chance to stop and think, and then the pettiness ensues. spose i'll have to six that.

and yes, voltaire is stunning.
saturn1:
six=fix. i need spell check.

Friday Jun 28, 2002

0
i must have burnt up an absurd amount of serotonin last weekend. I am fighting the most unbearable case of depression. Ive been hostile to everything all day long.
time to load up on 5htp...

Michigan is the sort of place that really wears thin after awhile. A midsummer trip to vienna is becoming more than likely.
pinup:
Oh god. That loss of seratonin does WONDERS for the memory, too...

I hate that.

Jenna
saturn1:
you probably wouldn't know me, it's just that any scene in detroit is so small...but i've been in school here and working full time for the past two years so getting to detroit to just go out has been minimal at best, and before that i was living in chicago. and being that when i did live there i was younger i get so damn lost there, a lot of friends have moved ans such. wish i had a reason to though, ann arbor has been wearing on my nerves for a good year.

but nah, usually when i do go there it's for a show at st. andrew's or motor or something like that. kinda crazy that you live in that area though...small world.

vienna: yes. i went to paris a few weeks ago for a little less than a month and my soul thanked me for it. italy is next year.

Thursday Jun 13, 2002

0
For your interest: sexual gossip on Mr. Maynard keenan...
http://www.metal-sludge.com/Ho-Bag2-22-02.htm (bottom of the page)
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
saturn1:
wow, cool...when i was younger i lived on the southwest side a la mexicantown but i know nothing about the area other'n a few people ...my aunt just recently moved but all of my life she's lived right in the same area as you, on seward. right now i'm going to eastern so i'm in ann arbor.

what do you get into around detroit/wherever? wonder if we've crossed paths.
vassago:
That is some crazy business... I live on seward.. right near the coorner of seward/second..

Mostly, I hit afterhours around town, like the contemporary, works, or portal.
sometimes even city club or motor.

actually, you dont look familiar in the least, but i suppose that doesnt mean that we haven't met before.

do you ever stop by any of those bars/clubs/whatever?