thefly

I think there is a lot to be said for "brotherhood" but maybe just as something existing outside the person. Basically at this point in life I believe that one should pretty much never trust anybody. Right now the only person I trust is my mother, and that's probably the way it should always be. I had a friend (female- which I now think are only good when you have sex with them) who was maybe the 2nd closest friend I ever had and trusted her on a very important day and she totally fucked me. I was shocked but I learned a lesson.

The last 2 close friends I've had were female and I think I've finally come to where I'm certain men and women really can't be friends (of real significance) without having a sexual relationship. I mean if you don't try and make them feel beautiful they are jealous, even if they are dating someone else for christ's sake.

Another platitude of mine (I admit another movie line) is that "everyone dies alone". Lonliness is sad and shitty and having spent most of my time on this earth alone I do think it is kind of a horrible thing (maybe less so if you were an only child but I wasn't- well in that case you wouldn't be lonely so nevermind). Change of scene helps. I've lived in the bay area for almost 7 years now and it is a wonderful place really. But you know once you've done each type of thing 500 times by yourself it gets kind of old. Spending 4 months in Miami was good and I've done that twice since I first moved out west. I remember being in Miami when that was starting to feel old and lonely. But even a weekend trip to LA now is revitalizing. You really need to get out of that fucking place, wherever it is you live. Apparently you realize this, but I dunno you've had a decent job for a while right. It seems you don't have any real excuse for not saving up some money and leaving. We can get used to being lonely only to a certain extent, because we are still animals and social animals as well.