I ran into a friend of mine today and we decided to get something to eat together after work so we could chat and hang out. She was over at a friends house when I left work so i went over there to pick her up. It turns out that I had met her friend once before and that she lives a couple of blocks...
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Im at work now (7:30pm) and I need to take a break for a bit. Ill upload this when I get home since I cant connect to SG from here. Im taking a break because I was working on a Gas Chromatograph when I slipped and stuck my fretting hand pinky into a 5700RPM fan and lopped my fucking finger off!
Ok, I exaggerate a...
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kozmikgirl:
I may have to just read half of this & read the rest later... damn it is long! But, about your songs, everytime I hear Sweet Jane I think of you now. I hope to hear Jane Says because Jane's Addiction is one of my newer favorite bands. You should have broke that song out at my place afew weeks ago. Or perhaps you did, I was a bit out of it.
As for "I keep having moments where I stop what Im doing and realize that Im completely fucking cracked." I go through that moment almost daily, it is quit disturbing.
As for "I keep having moments where I stop what Im doing and realize that Im completely fucking cracked." I go through that moment almost daily, it is quit disturbing.
kozmikgirl:
I also agree about the fact that when you sing, you sing better when you have confidence. With me, when you are singing, you seem to swing in & out of confidence through-out the song & I can tell because you sound better when you are sure of yourself.
Well i'm home. Had a little adventure today and i rocked a coffee shop. I'll tell more in a bit, but I'm somewhat drunk and I have taco bell and three dogs waiting for affection. Well the taco bell is waiting to be ate. Why is TB the drunk's food of choice?
Details to come later.
Details to come later.
venice:
She's not snorkling bad, she's just sort of skinny and mangy and limping and last night she wouldn't even eat her cheerio. I think four rats is too stressful a situation for her.
kozmikgirl:
I agree about Taco Bell. It is a hardcore craving for the drunk & disorderly. 
My job has taken a severe downturn. One of the critical guys there quit yesterday and there really isn't too much hope in the forseable future. Without him around it'll be a setback that will affect the grant money, so I think that I may only have a job until this summer. There's going to be a lot more work around the lab and deadlines...
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kozmikgirl:
I am trying like hell to break out of old habits. It seems to be like swimming upstream.
As for the I to the B to the S... damn dawg, I didn't know you were down like that, I am too & sometimes I don't eat because I don't have the time to deal with it, yo'.
[Edited on Mar 23, 2005 1:58PM]
As for the I to the B to the S... damn dawg, I didn't know you were down like that, I am too & sometimes I don't eat because I don't have the time to deal with it, yo'.
[Edited on Mar 23, 2005 1:58PM]
peptide:
death makes me uncomfortable. 
Damn you insomnia. One of the shitty things about being manic.
kozmikgirl:
Fuckin' manias can kiss my ass. kiss kiss it, I say!
kiss kiss it, I say!
adelina:
there are some good aspects of mania though. many artistic geniuses were manic. the intense euphoria, the heightened awareness with the surroundings, and the high activity level are all good things because it lets you get things done.
I'm all for marriage.
I think because it makes famalies bigger.
I don't know why everyone's in a twitch over gay marriage.
Of course all marriages end in death or divorce.
Not to be gloomy or anything. :Whatever:
he he he..you make me chuckle. marriage does make families BIGGER, sometimes frighteningly so. i already have a very large family... tons of aunts and uncles, lots of cousins some of whom i've never even met. i can't imagine wanting to ever have more than 2-3 kids... but not anytime soon, not in the next ten years at least.
and about gay marriages, i'm all for it. it's a shame everyone gets their panties all twisted in a knot over it. what's the big deal, right? committed homo couples pay taxes just like their boring hetero neighbors, so they should have the same fucking rights!
Sometimes mania is the best thing about biplor disorder. Your creativity explodes, your energetic and productive. But then there's the sleeplessness and impulsive distracted behavior. I really should go to work tomorrow.
Well I finally fixed my computer. It's been trapped in the limbo between Mandrake 10.0 and 10.1 for a month. It took several installs and the system is still a bit out of whack, but i can get on the internet and send email at least. It all started when I added a sound card and somehow goofed my settings bad enough to have to...
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kozmikgirl:
Yeah, the whole bleeding from the ears is a fucking mind trip, it happened to me & I totally freaked out.
I have never had sushi. Well, I tried sushi from Fred Meyer twice & my friend made some once. But I have never been to an actual sushi restaurant. With all that cash & nothing to do you better take me sometime soon!
But, really, do I have to be trendy & successful? Because I have never been either of those things & I can't fake it.
I am sorry you guys broke up. I busted my ass & dated alot of losers to get my nice, generous & patient guy. I wasted years of my life with rude, life-sucking men with anger issues & it really felt like a horrible waste of good time. And energy. Oh well.
I can't believe cash is falling into our laps about the same time. Let's run away together!
I have never had sushi. Well, I tried sushi from Fred Meyer twice & my friend made some once. But I have never been to an actual sushi restaurant. With all that cash & nothing to do you better take me sometime soon!
But, really, do I have to be trendy & successful? Because I have never been either of those things & I can't fake it.
I am sorry you guys broke up. I busted my ass & dated alot of losers to get my nice, generous & patient guy. I wasted years of my life with rude, life-sucking men with anger issues & it really felt like a horrible waste of good time. And energy. Oh well.
I can't believe cash is falling into our laps about the same time. Let's run away together!
adelina:
congratulations on finishing up with school. now with your extra $$$, you really should go ahead and fulfill some of your dreams of travelling. better to do it while you can rather than just continue to dream about it.
There must be a gene in my family that makes us hang on to the bitter end...
i guess your fam has a bit of "darwinian survival superiority?"
Lots of things have been rolling around in my head lately. Here's one.
My real father and step mother have been together for a long time. Probably since i was seven (my parents got divorced when i was about four). My dad wasn't the one woman type. He said that at the time all he cared about were fast cars and fast women. That had...
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My real father and step mother have been together for a long time. Probably since i was seven (my parents got divorced when i was about four). My dad wasn't the one woman type. He said that at the time all he cared about were fast cars and fast women. That had...
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kozmikgirl:
It is weird I don't know that stuff about your bio-dad. Hmmm. This whole journal will make me think for some days I am sure.
It is weird you speak of death today. My great-aunt, aunt & Sharon's ex beau just all died in the same week afew weeks back. I was only semi-close to all 3, but it is still damn weird & I am alittle freaked out. What is weirder is I had an "impending doom" feeling for weeks before. After the last person in the trio died, that feeling went away.
~~~~~
I hate when I "veg out", which happens more often then you could imagine, but I hate it because time passes unnoticed & I feel that I was so far away from any "moment" that nothing existed to me at all for that time... too much of the ole SSRI's I think rotted my brain alittle, but I will still try to "be present" as much as I can. It is really hard sometimes though.
veg veg veg
It is weird you speak of death today. My great-aunt, aunt & Sharon's ex beau just all died in the same week afew weeks back. I was only semi-close to all 3, but it is still damn weird & I am alittle freaked out. What is weirder is I had an "impending doom" feeling for weeks before. After the last person in the trio died, that feeling went away.
~~~~~
I hate when I "veg out", which happens more often then you could imagine, but I hate it because time passes unnoticed & I feel that I was so far away from any "moment" that nothing existed to me at all for that time... too much of the ole SSRI's I think rotted my brain alittle, but I will still try to "be present" as much as I can. It is really hard sometimes though.
veg veg veg
venice:
Well, I'm making pastries for everyone else, I can make cookies for you. If I had realized before right now, I could have made them today. Oh well...
I finally got my car fixed today. While it was getting repaired i walked over to a sheet music store and bought a copy of neil diamonds greatest hits. Then i started looking at their guitars. I was officially scoping out git-boxes for a youngin' i know, so i was looking for a good-sounding cheap guitar. I always end up looking for something for me...
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kozmikgirl:
Yeah, I liked The Cooler alot. Sadly, I found that every time when I go out & people were at those gambling machines that things get worse for them as I get closer. It used to be a joke & everyone used to make fun of me about it, although it did trouble me alot because it happened so much. I would hear as I walked into the bar "Hey, I am on a roll! So, Michelle could you just stay at a distance please."
Oh brothers.
Oh brothers.
I've been pretty sick the last couple of days, but i'm starting to feel better. I just had my first math midterm and i think that i did ok. I'm behind the curve of my projects so i need to get into work now. I guess that makes me a do-bee. 
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adelina:
midterms and illness usually go together like love and marriage, a horse and carriage...! 
kozmikgirl:
Kind of you to drop by & say sorry 'bout my kitty. 
I am really hoping she will be ok... plus, how the hell am I gonna give her shots of insulin if I need to? I would throw up 
then pass out cold 
I am really hoping she will be ok... plus, how the hell am I gonna give her shots of insulin if I need to? I would throw up then pass out cold So for all the trouble the bank caused me: hours of argueing and waiting for calls, being on hold and getting the run around ("uh, i don't know what that code means. can i call you back?" "You need to call the branch you opened the account at...." ect); they fixed it in five minutes because I had the good fortune to talk to the...
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kozmikgirl:
Do you think that it is a small town/big city issue that my US Bank was all "oh, that IS so bad, we are SO SO sorry!" & I was out of there, fees reversed, in about 6 minutes? Maybe next time you should come to Saint Smellin's with yo problems. 
venice:
Of course it was put down and forgotten. This is my family we're talking about here.
We only put it up last night because my grandpa reminded us that we had intended to do it yesterday. We're so irresponsible.
We only put it up last night because my grandpa reminded us that we had intended to do it yesterday. We're so irresponsible.
Moneychangers!!! 
The bank totally fucked me for $60 (maybe more) because a shithole resturant in seattle requested the wromg amount of money from my account, overdrafting me, and then resubmitting the correct amount to overdraft me again because of the previous fee taking the last of my money. Because US bank will fine you if your account's available funds ever go negative (even when it's...
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The bank totally fucked me for $60 (maybe more) because a shithole resturant in seattle requested the wromg amount of money from my account, overdrafting me, and then resubmitting the correct amount to overdraft me again because of the previous fee taking the last of my money. Because US bank will fine you if your account's available funds ever go negative (even when it's...
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kozmikgirl:
That is weird because the same exact thing happened to me afew weeks back & US Bank just made it all ok in about 5 minutes & took off the charge. Weird. But, stupid Columbia House had charged me when I didn't order anything. I wasn't even a Columbia House member! Never have been. What the hell is that about? But, then Col. House put the money back & I didn't even have to call them.
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[Edited on Jan 27, 2005 11:01AM]
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[Edited on Jan 27, 2005 11:01AM]
sianna:
they have to refund you the charge, the adjustment from the cafe to your account is proof enough for your bank that it wasn't your fault.
My favourite Cohen album is "I'm Your Man".