reverendbenzo

I think I am hitting my obligatory mid-life crisis a few years earlier than expected. It's kind of hard to explain. So here is a list of things that I think is safe to say will never happen to me:

-Win a Pulitzer
-Visit the Pyramids at Giza
-Be a porn star
-Write the great American novel
-Get married and have kids
-Wining the lottery...
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Tonight at work I was checking out this customer and Andrea was next to me telling another lady that she had a late fee. "Oh really? I thought they were just due anytime that day." So Andrea asked if I would cut to fee since it was the first time that she rented. Now up until then the lady was pleasent enough. So I stepped...
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Weirdos at work were abound tonight.
Weirdo number 1: Some guy walks up to our outside trash and starts sifting through it. I thought at first maybe he threw something away by accident. He's rummaging through it, lifting up bags and setting them to the side. Then he digs in a little more, picks up a thing of McDonalds french fries, removes some of the...
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It's weird and amazing to me how easily upset I make people sometimes. I'm a pretty laid back easy going guy. I have a very dry sense of humor that is perhaps not as nearly as funny as I think however. So I apologize in advance if I say something to someone that seems mean or stupid and you're not sure if I'm joking. I...
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Mad customer of the night: This lady that got mad because she said she handed someone her movies at 9 although we open at 10. I wouldn't take her check because she wouldn't give me her home and work phone. She said "Well I'll see you in court then for not taking my check while I'm trying to pay off my late fee that I...
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I've had The World At Large by Modest Mouse stuck in my head for three days now. Not that I'm complaining really. That is a great fucking song. It's spooky too how much the words echo my thoughts. Great songs have a way of doing that. In fact, if Brock would have changed just one little tiny word it would have been about me completely...
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An honest to god conversation I had yesterday.

Him: "Do you have Sing with Roo?"
Me: "Roo. Is that new?"
"Yeah it's the new Pooh with Roo."
"Oh right the new Pooh."
Later on.
"When is the new Roo due."
"The Roo is due at 2."

Random thoughts while at work:

I hate this place.
I can't sleep all day tommorrow.
I wonder if my truck will make it to Balitmore.
Why does it smell like gasoline in here?
Jesus, Kat talks a lot.
Man I really need to have s- woah that chick is hot. What was I thinking about-oh yeah man I need to have sex.
Is this girl...
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Tonight was my night off so I was called in of course.
Recent customer questions:
They:"Ya'll got Goff."
Me:"Golf?"
They: "Yeah the movie wiff Holly Berry"
He wanted Gothika.
Me: "Never heard of it."

"Ya'll (a popular phrase here) have Gotcha?"
"Do you mean Gothika."
"Nooo, I want Gotcha, the new one with Holly Berry (No one seems to realize the bitch's name is Halle.)...
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I am one hot piece of ass.

I pulled a good prank today. It started last night and carried over beautifully into today. Last night I cut words out of one of our movie preview magazines. There was a movie advertised called Cock & Bull and another called Golf Balls. I took Kat's name tag and pasted Cock and Balls over her name. Then today she actually put it on without noticing...
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Lack of sleep: Tired eyes and cranky attitude.
Too many cigarettes: Lack of breath and old woman cough.
Months without sex: Low(er) self-esteem and large late fees from adult video stores.
Paycheck: Food, trash bags, rent.
Boredom: Clean house.
Lack of CD's: Listening to Sharpen Your Teeth over and over while cleaning the house.
Nothing on T.V.: Consideration of joing those in the world. Decides...
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