reprobate

So:

Miss Deaf Texas was struck by a train and killed... because she didn't hear it coming.

and

New Orleans most wanted man is named B-Stupid. His associate, " Man-Man" has already been apprehended because he decided to hide in the middle of the street firing guns into the air.

Things come in threes, folks, watch out for the weirdness.

My favorite part was when the entire reception sang the Jeopardy theme.

Ever feel like your life was a Nina Simone lyric?

I got mail today.

At my house.

First, you make a roux.

Happy Mardi Gras.

Brokeback nine iron is the new black.

You heard it here first.

Sebastian is older than he looks. He is odder than he looks, too.

Show us your cowboy mouth.

I'm thirty-seven.
It's Carnival.
God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.

Addendum, 'cause I just saw this:

"The quotes are accurate except the profanity, which Mr. Anderson employs as liberally as most people use indefinite articles and pronouns.)"

Welcome to my world.