opticnerve

No no. Groupies FUCK the band. Journalists WRITE ABOUT the band. I will keep my professional distance, I swear.

Sorry to disappoint. I don't watch much TV, so the stuff I *am* watching is 3 million years old and downloadable. The BF is hooked on House, hence I end up watching it, and Sex and the City is kind of a guilty pleasure. Otherwise, I don't really have anything I watch religiously. I liked Buffy and Angel when they were on, but I haven't made it a point to search them out, mostly cus I don't want to get hooked and waste all my time watching 'em, good as they are.

Nah, I didn't even bother to date him. We went out on one date, had weird sex, and I never called him again. Oh, and then he called me like a year later, and I stood him up.

P.S. Isn't it a bit early for Santa? Why not ask for your birthday?

So... you were never born?

Oh yeah? What would Cary Grant say?

Really? I guess it worked once on me when a dude said he never really got off on blowjobs, but after that I learned my lesson: dudes who don't like blowjobs are losers!

I try and write letters on recycled to companies like Coca-Cola, asking them, telling them, that after years of using Polar Bears in their ads, they have a duty, and a serious PR issue, to do everything in their considerable power to save the bears and curb their contributions to global warming.

I'm also trying to develop a super-power that will allow me to turn hummers(the bad kind) in trees and coal power plants into forests. Until that happens though I figure the writing is the best tool I've got. If anyone has any ideas that I should be writing about, I'll write about them.

You can't just forget a glass dildo... was it used on you or someone else?

My Asian character is currently a bisexual porn-star wannabe with a giant cock who seduces the other guy in the story.

Dear OpticNerve,

Please update your SG journal. And always remember the Boy Scout motto.

XO,
ValCapone

Why, what'd they change it to? "Be prepared... for butt sex?"

Fishing for answers is still fun nonetheless.

Any suggestions for big bad bait?

Not at all. I think most women like to hear that their pussies taste great and that you think they're beautiful.

think the person who wrote the comment on the board was pissed because the piece suggested that many pussies smell bad or look weird, since historically women have been told to use things like douches to keep their lady bits "clean and fresh," but in the meantime, douching actually screws up your natural bouquet and can contribute to such awesomeness as recurring yeast infections. In fact, I once read that Lysol encouraged women to use their cleaning products as a douche. OUCH! So anyway, there is definitely a fear of coming off as anti-vag, but I think the piece was meant humorously and, ultimately, he singles out his girlfriend's cunt as superior. Maybe he's only dating her for her perfect cunt, but at least he knows what he likes about her and seems to worship it...