mr_zero

Ok so this is going to crack you up if you ever had a parent type catch you totally plastered or with a major hangover.

I was getting up to have a coffee before I cracked open my first weekend beer. My dad was standing there and asks me if I heard my mom come in the house. She had gone to a work xmas...
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Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
With the boink swatter

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove
With...
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+1

How much do you know about it? What do you think it is? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Think it's retarded? Think it's funny? Well here is what I know about it.

Over the past 10 years I have played many a computer game. My first encouter with +1 was on the forums of Blizzard's "Diablo". I saw a thread that...
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This dedication goes out to that special someones.

Disturbed - Fear

Reject
Are you no one
Fear you nothing
You know I'll bet you think
You have a good reason to be living
In the limelight of the fortunate ones
You're too weakened by the poison
That they feed you in the living lie
They don't believe you
Call to no one
Trust in nothing...
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UPDATE: My boss has a hard on against us carrying phones at work. His boss is a friend of my family and yells at me when I don't bring it. Wanna piss off my boss? 815-XXX-4536. I won't have a signal if I am in a cooler but I will laugh if the phone rings for a voice message or phone call. Midnight - ?...
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What do you get when you mix the following list?

Me with an irrational fear of walking on bridges.
1 roid rage jock type with a scantly clad gf
2 guys who look like a couple of the stoners from "Haggard"
12 beers.
2 sideshow freaks
1 Sold out show at the House of Blues

Saturday night or my next journal entry. Right now I...
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I was driving across town for the second time today when I realized something. It is the holiday season. I thought of this journal entry.

Holiday Spirit. What a crock of shit. You know I don't doubt that "holiday spirit" once existed. It has become bastardized though. Don't get me wrong, I am no grinch. I don't walk around and piss in little kids milk...
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Ok the ticket came from the guy that I helped get his licence last week. I hadn't seen him since that day because they put him on the night shift. The owner of the company passed the message on to me this morning. He also gave me a personal Thank You.

That is weird since he never even say Happy Thanksgiving or Merry Xmas.

aaaaannnnnnd...
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Ok, I got a ticket to Disturbed via UPS today.

What's the catch?

and WTF?

I found my phone too! It was under the seat of my truck.

Last night. 8:00 PM.

I was standing here playing my guitar with headphones on. My front door opens. I wasn't expecting anyone so, naturally I pulled a gun. Scared the shit out of the friends that walked in. Nothing duplicates the fear that someone experiences when they hear the slide of a semi automatic handgun. Well except the sound of a pump action shotgun. My...
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Ethics.

They are making us take ethics courses at work. The way the company I work for is, most people need it. What does this have to do with anything?

I spent the majority of my week stressing out because I think they are going to make me move to another warehouse or lose my job. I also stressed out a lot because I am...
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