Okay, I am in a better mood/place now so I can do a better update!
1. I did decide on my next tattoo! And I am very, very excited! It will be to honor my grandmother and my mother. It will be a bluebird (for my grandmother) and in the same place as my mother's tattoo. I am really excited. What I do need to...
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1. I did decide on my next tattoo! And I am very, very excited! It will be to honor my grandmother and my mother. It will be a bluebird (for my grandmother) and in the same place as my mother's tattoo. I am really excited. What I do need to...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Feeling very uncommunicative today and I have lots of people to call. But I just don't want to. I don't know what I do want to do, but talking on the phone or going anywhere is not one of them.
I have this addiction that I am working on. It isn't drugs or food or anything, but like a person type thing. It is truly...
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I have this addiction that I am working on. It isn't drugs or food or anything, but like a person type thing. It is truly...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
zequ:
sounds like a sunday.
nc_guy:
You really should get a cat. Cats are awesome pets. I have two. They are my daughters (lol).
I just returned from a fun little time at Dave and Buster's with an old friend, Andrew. It was funny, because while we were there, a couple started chatting us up and we ended up playing pool with them for a few hours.
This is funny only because the same thing happened when I hung out with Yillie. I keep making all these couple...
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This is funny only because the same thing happened when I hung out with Yillie. I keep making all these couple...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
gtwr:
It's great that there are so many guys ready for you to date when you are ready. I really admire your self control for waiting until you are ready but I totally agree that you are doing the right thing. You have to be completely happy with yourself and if you are, it will help ensure that any relationship you have will work so much better. I really hope this happens soon and you have a fantastic time 
nc_guy:
You're sounding very, very confident in your journals lately. Good for you! 
Just returned from a really nice dinner with big Peter. I was worried because the restaurant he picked was very pricey, but he said since he invited me he would pay! I had escarcole and pan fried oysters.
It was nice to catch up. Big Peter makes me feel like an adult and he makes me feel intelligent. We talk about our industry as well...
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It was nice to catch up. Big Peter makes me feel like an adult and he makes me feel intelligent. We talk about our industry as well...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
gangstaswan:
Because I wish he would just not be in my life any more. I want him erased. Terrible, I know.
morbidkitten:
no havent thats another thing that worries me is because when i went to my appointment this year to get more pills they said i didnt need a check up at that point. and no not really more stress same as usual and no exercise other than lifting the dorito into my mouth 
Hi All,
Sorry for the cranky entries that have been coming your way as of late. Just lots of stuff hitting me at the same time.
But I like being able to grow and think about it all.
Regarding the last entry. I think I just have to realize that I was with Bill over 6 years ago. So, he knows me, but I am...
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Sorry for the cranky entries that have been coming your way as of late. Just lots of stuff hitting me at the same time.
But I like being able to grow and think about it all.
Regarding the last entry. I think I just have to realize that I was with Bill over 6 years ago. So, he knows me, but I am...
Read More
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
rouke:
No one has loved me unconditionally. I have loved unconditionally but it was not returned. So, very sad 
But I have hope that someday I will find it.
Thanks for your comment in my journal.
But I have hope that someday I will find it.
Thanks for your comment in my journal.
endquire:
I do nothing but give love without question, condition, or judgement.
I think that their are those that love me as I love them. I do not know for certain. Only time will tell.
I think that their are those that love me as I love them. I do not know for certain. Only time will tell.
Other points of view.
Other points of view can sometimes throw you for a loop.
I sent one of my exes some pics from a photoshoot with Elvgrenink and with MLE. The one with MLE was just pretty. No nakedness. But with Elvgrenink they were racy.
I thought he would enjoy them. We had a very intense relationship, which ended when I fell out...
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Other points of view can sometimes throw you for a loop.
I sent one of my exes some pics from a photoshoot with Elvgrenink and with MLE. The one with MLE was just pretty. No nakedness. But with Elvgrenink they were racy.
I thought he would enjoy them. We had a very intense relationship, which ended when I fell out...
Read More
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
crystalized118:
You know whats funny...
I wanted to be an SG when I first saw the site and then I submnitted a set (Which came out horrible because I had no one to take the pics) and at first I was going to try and re-send in another set, but then after a few months passed I asked myself that same question that your friend asked you...
Is this something that I really want to do? Why is it so important to me? Blah... Blah... Blah...
I think that my desire to become an SG has changed. I am happy as a member... I've made some good friends and that's good enough for me!
I already have a job.... A great job.... I don't need the meisley $300 that I'll be paid for the set.
I'm not telling you this to change your mind... because I love all the SG's on this site, but it's not meant for everyone.
Put some thought into it and you'll come up with the right decision.
I wanted to be an SG when I first saw the site and then I submnitted a set (Which came out horrible because I had no one to take the pics) and at first I was going to try and re-send in another set, but then after a few months passed I asked myself that same question that your friend asked you...
Is this something that I really want to do? Why is it so important to me? Blah... Blah... Blah...
I think that my desire to become an SG has changed. I am happy as a member... I've made some good friends and that's good enough for me!
I already have a job.... A great job.... I don't need the meisley $300 that I'll be paid for the set.
I'm not telling you this to change your mind... because I love all the SG's on this site, but it's not meant for everyone.
Put some thought into it and you'll come up with the right decision.
connielingus:
I wouldn't go so far as to call it "good". It's cheesy 80's crappy slasher fun. I've been rounding out my cheesy horror movie collection and this makes an excellent addition.
Stop stressin, girl!! I think you'd make a FAB SG!! The decision is yours alone, don't let others' judgements make your mind up for you.
Stop stressin, girl!! I think you'd make a FAB SG!! The decision is yours alone, don't let others' judgements make your mind up for you.
As an update to my insightful journal from yesterday
The hardest part about all this is, though I am enjoying this time to myself and learning about myself, my biological clock is ticking. Almost all of my friends are married or in very serious relationships. And there is part of me that sees this time going by and worries. Worries that I am wasting time....
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The hardest part about all this is, though I am enjoying this time to myself and learning about myself, my biological clock is ticking. Almost all of my friends are married or in very serious relationships. And there is part of me that sees this time going by and worries. Worries that I am wasting time....
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
nexusdog:
It's humbling reading your forthright and candid journal, in an ideal world perhaps I could offer something witty or useful to say that would be of value or even perhaps inspire.
I don't feel that it's my place to comment, partially out of my stuff, but mainly because despite your doubts and battling your demons, you work through them and move on, always growing as a person and learning.
It's quite an experience and honour to be allowed into your world, so thank you for sharing what it's like to be you.
I don't feel that it's my place to comment, partially out of my stuff, but mainly because despite your doubts and battling your demons, you work through them and move on, always growing as a person and learning.
It's quite an experience and honour to be allowed into your world, so thank you for sharing what it's like to be you.
egorgry:
so how did you fix mr. puter?
As an update to my insightful journal from yesterday
The hardest part about all this is, though I am enjoying this time to myself and learning about myself, my biological clock is ticking. Almost all of my friends are married or in very serious relationships. And there is part of me that sees this time going by and worries. Worries that I am wasting time....
Read More
The hardest part about all this is, though I am enjoying this time to myself and learning about myself, my biological clock is ticking. Almost all of my friends are married or in very serious relationships. And there is part of me that sees this time going by and worries. Worries that I am wasting time....
Read More
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
tadzi:
if you are going to get into something, it is always best to do it for the right reasons.
gtwr:
You're not being selfish. It's important to look after yourself first as it's hard to be a good friend if you're not happy with yourself. It's better for everyone if you're happy and know who you are.
I'm really glad to hear that you are getting stronger and feeling better. You will find someone great who you deserve
I'm really glad to hear that you are getting stronger and feeling better. You will find someone great who you deserve
TGIF!
And fuck you to all the lucky mo fo's who have Monday off.
I got my bonus today!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!! Yay! Granted it wasn't much cause I had only been there for two months in '05, but still very cool!
I am bored..........bored, bored, bored. And a little hungover and tired. Which means that I have no energy to combat my boredom.
I am bored...
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And fuck you to all the lucky mo fo's who have Monday off.
I got my bonus today!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!! Yay! Granted it wasn't much cause I had only been there for two months in '05, but still very cool!
I am bored..........bored, bored, bored. And a little hungover and tired. Which means that I have no energy to combat my boredom.
I am bored...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
darkrabbit:
Given my penchant for taking the bullet, I also did a Nohari... Since no one else was anxious too 
alexsandria:
You're so sweet. I'm doing much better thanks. My best friend flew up from Miami and she's been doing a good job at keeping me distracted.
I have a shoot tonight. It will be outside in 10 degree weather with a windchill of -2 degrees. Wish me luck!
I have a shoot tonight. It will be outside in 10 degree weather with a windchill of -2 degrees. Wish me luck!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...........
Okay ewwwwwwwwwww for so many reasons!
1. You cannot drink Valentine's Day away. I tried. But VDay always wins! Thus I feel very yucky today! Very, very hungover today!
2. I just got this email from some guy on match......
"hot pic little girl"
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh um, gag. If I wasn't already nauseous enough! And I am fucking 28, not a little girl. And trust...
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Okay ewwwwwwwwwww for so many reasons!
1. You cannot drink Valentine's Day away. I tried. But VDay always wins! Thus I feel very yucky today! Very, very hungover today!
2. I just got this email from some guy on match......
"hot pic little girl"
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh um, gag. If I wasn't already nauseous enough! And I am fucking 28, not a little girl. And trust...
Read More
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
sabbadoo:
Cheer up beautiful. I hope you feel better soon
canismajor:
Hangovers definitley get worse as we age. I'm laying off of booze for awhile as well as avoiding the serious boozers amoung my friends for a bit. Love the dark profile pic. ---CM
So, I was all set to come on here and tell you about work today, which I will, but first I bumped into my ex Jason at the grocery store and we shopped for an hour together talking.
It was so nice. At first I thought I ran into him to take care of me, but then I realized it was to take care of...
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It was so nice. At first I thought I ran into him to take care of me, but then I realized it was to take care of...
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VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
dead_ringer:
I happily accept your offer of a body shot as consideration for my bringing of winter weather! Although, consideration offered after the fact is unenforceable - as such, I will require a personal guarantee from your lovely self for tender of such body shot.
I happily accept your offer of a body shot as consideration for my bringing of winter weather! Although, consideration offered after the fact is unenforceable - as such, I will require a personal guarantee from your lovely self for tender of such body shot.
dekews:
Growing up is a pain. 
I've got much more stress now than I did as a youth.
I've got much more stress now than I did as a youth.
I have a little cold, so I promise to email everyone back tomorrow. I am just too sleepy to do so today!!
I came home today to the most wonderful surprise! A card from shark and a Valentine CD from Damon. I was tickled pink!!!! It totally made my day! I love real mail! It is the best.
So thank you to both of you!...
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I came home today to the most wonderful surprise! A card from shark and a Valentine CD from Damon. I was tickled pink!!!! It totally made my day! I love real mail! It is the best.
So thank you to both of you!...
Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
err:
how the hell is a piano cooler than an ipod?
catarina_:
ooo i have a cold too 
i concur with the ones that say Piano. ( i just wanted my chance to say concur !!yay!!)
ipods are only cool because you can buy those cute cases to put them in. pianos you can play music, make house look pretty or chop them up for wood if your landlord does not provide you with heat! and if you play well... everyone will love you even more
i concur with the ones that say Piano. ( i just wanted my chance to say concur !!yay!!)
ipods are only cool because you can buy those cute cases to put them in. pianos you can play music, make house look pretty or chop them up for wood if your landlord does not provide you with heat! and if you play well... everyone will love you even more
Can't wait to see the tattoo when it's done!
Gray