Friday Mar 18, 2011

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i hate being so alone all the time. i just want to be free from all my pain and angry and guilt. im tired of feeling this way. im sinking further and further into my grief and destruction and I cant seem to get my head above water anymore. its driving me insane. im afraid i might lose Reno if I dont reach a good...
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Tuesday Mar 08, 2011

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im tired of being so fucked up

im tired of my past having such a big impact on my life

i need to change asap

Sunday Mar 06, 2011

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late today jerry and i are going to hang out and talk about everything.

im pretty sure we are going to end up taking a break for awhile.

hopefully this is what we need.

fingers crossed.

Friday Mar 04, 2011

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how can anyone love me, if i dont love myself?

how can u say i love jerry like he loves me, when i cheated on him?

how are we going to be ok, if im not ok?

i wish i was a cat, life would be so much easier
entese:

yeah life is sometimes really shitty but not always

Wednesday Mar 02, 2011

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i am such a fucking loser. i hate so much about myself and im so afraid of looking in my own brain and my past and reliving all the really shitty parts of my past that i just dont and its ruining my life and my relationship with Jerry and im so afraid to lose him.

i am drunk and i quit

Wednesday Mar 02, 2011

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i hate that the only person i really have to talk to is jerry. when we have a fight and im feeling depressed and guilty, i cant very well talk to him. i feel so guilty about hurting him, because thats usually the reason we're fighting.

im just so lazy and afraid of hurting that i always put off the issue of talking about...
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Wednesday Mar 02, 2011

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wow. so the whole "exclusive relationship" status and "had a wonderful day with my lover" sentence, translated to "im lonely, and disturbingly desperate to talk to your creepy butt, so flirt with me and hope i fall for it". that makes me laugh.

not only do I blog about my boyfriend, and have him all over my profile. why do men think that just because...
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Tuesday Mar 01, 2011

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RENO DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hung out with my love today. We went to his Na-Na's house to try and fix something, then to a late lunch (well brunch since we all got breakfast) with his dad, went back to his house, fooled around, watched some of Dinner for Schmucks, took a nap, fooled around again, got dinner, fooled around some more, then finished watching the movie...
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Monday Feb 28, 2011

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Ive got a very nice buzz going on thanks to Captain Morgan's Long Island Iced Tea.

Unfortunately I didnt sleep too well last night, and I want to get up early to see my love, so all Im thinking about it sleep.

Kinda sucks, wasting a good buzz on sleep. I need to get drunk with my Reno. Thatd be fun ^_^


Good night...
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Monday Feb 28, 2011

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So Im watching The Children of the Corn, on Syfy. Its the 2009 made for tv version, full of nobody actors who havent done anything really important. Overall its an ok movie, but theres been a few crap moments.

Like the fact that the married couple driving thru the back roads of Nebraska in 1975, are a white vietnam vet and a black Valley Girl...
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