hemightbegiant

I walked outside last night, and it was kinda chilly. It's been getting lighter in the morning a lot later now...
FALL IS COMING!!!
That means AMAZING leaves on the trees, walking through the woods and listening to that cool crunching sound, crickets chirping, jumping in giant leaf piles and being able to wear my hoodies and long sleeve shirts without dying of dehydration.
I...
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Ok, so I mentioned a while back that my mom was attempting to hook me up with some girl right?
The girl never called, so I assumed she was never going to. My mom calls me today asking me if I want to go out with said girl Saturday. I couldn't think of an excuse so I said sure.

Now my original plan was to...
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Ok, so a bunch of friends came over tonight to drink, play Mario Party 6, and hang out.
My buddy Erin and his girlfriend Mindy (who is also a good friend) came too.
Mindy went home to get something to drink (we didn't have anything she liked), but was coming back.
As soon as she left, Erin was ALL OVER my friend Amanda, just being...
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"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were."

Here goes nothing...
-KOS

I walked into a giant pile of problems that the new manager left for me to solve. Funny how she has Tim and I do her job on a regular basis, but when we ask for a raise, we get "oh, the place isn't making enough money...so we can't give raises."
Then, if something goes wrong, or someone complains, she passes the shit on to...
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Ok, last night I hung out at Zephyer's place.
As we all know, I love the girl to death...but her mother drives me insane...
She is a horder...
meaning she HORDES stuff. She collects all this junk she doesn't need,
and then when it comes time to move...
She askes us to carry all her heavy shit...
AHHHHH!!!!

Anywho, Amanda, Zephyer, Chelsea, this kid Matt,...
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It's time for me to grow up.
Time for me to get rid of these stupid dreams and ideas I have and get a real job.
I'm sending in the paperwork for my license exam Friday, and I am going to start saving for a car.
I'm tired of being left behind.
I'm tired of what my friends think of me (that they don't think...
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I know you guys are probably tired of my whining...
but dammit, I am not doing well at all.
I know I should get over it and move on, but I am majorly fucked up over this Zephyer stuff.
Majorly fucked up...
and it's going to hit me like a ton of cinderblocks on the 14th when she goes back to school...
and then 2...
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Spent the weekend hanging out with Zephyer. I love spending time with her, but hanging out with her for 3 days at a time makes it A LOT harder to get used to the fact that I can't have her....
I suppose it will become much easier when she goes back to school in CO.

Apparently my mom has been busy. She called me last...
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thought about holding my breath last night
until my face turned blue
and waited for my world to turn black as I laid in your arms,
an air deprived suicide

would speak to ears
and break down walls
I never could.
This vertigo unconsciousness.

You let this one slip through your fingertips.
mine turn numb
and theres no point to take back
what was said...
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