hemightbegiant

I apologize for all the whining lately...
but you know what, this is MY journal...so...

I am now officially the only single person in my apartment. All 3 of my roomies have a significant other...
making all kinds of cuddling happen in the apartment...
that excludes me.

Even my webcomic addiction reminds me of how lonely I am.
Two of the main characters in one...
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I've always been used to feeling second place...
but lately I feel like I didn't even place in the race...

No medals,
no trophies,
no cheering crowd...

But I don't even know why I write this here. No one fucking cares anyway.
-Me

"See the constellation,
ride across the sky,
no cigar, no lady on his arm,
just a guy made of dots and lines..."...
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Have you ever felt like you are slowly bleeding to death?
I don't mean in a literal sense...
I mean in an emotional sense.
Like every scar on your heart has opened...all at once...
and slowly you're bleeding to death.

That's how I feel right now...

I want to cry...but it just won't happen.
I haven't cried since August 2005...

I'm just broken...

-Me

Went fishing today.
Luke: 1
Fish: 0

So our big breeder rat had babies, and I went to see how many...and she bit me...HARD.
Like...to the bone.

I can't wait until I have a snake big enough to eat her. She is SO food.

-Me

Last night I had the strongest urge to cut...
It's been months since I've felt the urge to do that...

So I went to sleep.

Went to my cousin's yesterday. Everyone had different plans for Easter, so we had ours early.
Before I left, I gave my cousin's room mate a hug. I had hugged EVERYONE else in the room, so I didn't want her...
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I have never been surrounded by more people than I am in my new apartment...
and yet, I still feel so...alone.
I hate it.

Picked up the rack for my snakes today. I just need to cut it down to size tomorrow.
Should be a project.

Not much else going on.
I live a boring existence.

-Me

So Mike and Zephyer are officially engaged.
I waver between being happy for them...
and wanting to jump off a bridge.

Argh.

-Me

Did I piss everyone off or something?
I have 51 people on my friends list...
and I've gotten NO comments...at all...for the past 3 days.

-Me

I need opinions on both the name, and the logo itself.
Logo

I know it seems like I am really whiney...but is it really necessary for me to be reminded of my loneliness on a regular basis?

Last night I had this walk-in. It was this dude and his insanely hot girlfriend.
They requested a suite and candles and all that...
so I knew what...
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I hate being single when everything keeps reminding me of exactly how lonely I really am.
I can pretend to ignore it, but I can't..
I've been obsessing over getting my snake business started...and that has distracted me...
but now couples are all around me, and Spring is kicking in...full time.
Sigh...

Story of a lonely guy

Push it out, fake a smile
Avert disaster,...
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All moved in to the new place. Got drunk last night.
My room is looking pretty sweet. I need to organize some of my CRAP a little, but that's about it.
Oh, and I need to get some window blinds/shades so I can SLEEP during the day. Haha.

More later.

-Me