She asked me tonight for space. I have to respect that. It hurts, but it’s something that I can’t negotiate. I hope that she’s not leading me on. We still have a trip planned together. I hope that in taking a step back, when can take more steps forward. If not I guess I’ll be my usual single self. Only time will tell.
edmea:
♥️
hilo:
Sometimes its hard than we imagine
ale_punky:
🖤🖤
My anxiety has spoken to me in ways that my own enemies haven’t. It tried to convince me that my girlfriend didn’t want me to come into town. It tried to convince me to stay in Phoenix and not Fly to NYC. It tried to convince me that all of its lies were true and thankfully my support system and friends convinced me to tell...
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I’ve seen such beauty in this world. Such peace. I’ve seen both oceans here in America and dug my feet in the sands. I’ve seen museums and paintings that evoke such passionate joy that I’d sit and stare for hours. I’ve seen acts of kindness that could be only believed if seen with your own eyes. I’ve seen such love that it would break a...
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emeralda:
so sensitive! love your writing. been there done that. hope you feel better
chillism:
great blog, I identified myself in many things. I hope everything will be okay! Believe it. Positive thinking.
When do you draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough? When do you just admit you’re too much for anyone else? Or that you’re not enough? That you don’t have the tools to be in a happy healthy relationship? When do you just admit you’re better off alone? When do you admit that your inner monologue is right and has been...
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floxy:
all people have this shitty period of life... It could be impossible belive but im so depressed person too... And sometimes i cant help myself... But you know, after dark days we always will have sun. Sending you hugs.
I’ve struggled my whole life with being pessimistic but never really thought that the late nights and almost paralyzing fear were something that affected my daily life. It was separate. But now it’s making me stay up late, not eat, have anxiety caused by fear of abandonment and an sense that everything is just temporary so why keep people around. I’m getting help tomorrow. I’m...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
user997870:
You have to have the strength to seek help and sure that you will improve a lot in this. You have to have someone to talk to, but everything will be fine 😉🧡
fuck:
They put me on meds. Zoloft essentially. We’ll see how it worlds out but can’t be worse than where I was at.
fuck:
I wish you knew how much I’m fighting everything in my head, how much my head is trying to kill this but my heart is keeping me here. I wish I could tell you that when I talk to you the mess from my head mostly calms down. I wish I could stare at you for days sometimes not saying a word just taking you in. Sometimes I just look at photos of you and wish that we could be closer. Phoenix to Brooklyn seems so far apart. I wish I could tell you exactly how long I’ve felt unlovable but truth is it’s been most of my life, as well as, never really feeling like I belong anywhere. I honestly, feel sometimes like I don’t deserve you but I’ve grown to love myself as much as I hate my flaws. I wish I had the confidence I used to have, that dude didn’t give a single fuck. He fought fucked and drank his way through everything. I’ve lost so much, sometimes I feel like I lost myself. I find myself always looking for ways out even when I’m trying to stay. Never really know where I’m going. But I can’t give up, and I can’t let you go without a fight and that fight is against my current level of anxiety and lack of confidence. I was tired of it before we met but it amplified when we met and it’s been trying to sabotage me and my happiness. I know you know I’m getting the help I need. The therapist at work and now trying to get medication on Monday. They say we either have fight or flight, and the flight is trying to be the dominant one here but I’m too much of a fighter, it’s all I’ve ever known, it’s all I’m good at, it’s all I am. Time to start admitting that and using it to my advantage now. If I’ve ever loved anyone, it’s you. Undoubtably, all out and with everything I have. I won’t sacrifice my complete happiness and if I feel uncomfortable I’m going to say my peace. I won’t say you complete me because truth is that hole is something no one can fill. But I will say you’re the thing I look forward to the most everyday. Getting home and getting to FaceTime you is my favorite part of my day. Seeing you laugh or smile, is the greatest gift you give me. I would give everything I have to make this work, within reason. I wouldn’t flinch.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
fuck:
@santianna maybe, but I’m self destructive, a mess and have a lot issues to work through. I guess we’ll see.
chillism:
just live dear, living with blocks is not cool. Will be all right!!!
Life is a cycle of repeated failures until you figure out how to make it work for you. I have no idea how to stop my cycle. And I’m tired of trying. Tired of being alone. Tired of putting in work and getting nothing. Tired of being used. Tired of missing home. Tired of going places and feeling alone, even in a room full of...
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lidryem:
Today i'm sleep and speek in my had... "Life is a cycle and i need open the work cycle, i'm no happy.. I need! Stop is good"
witchvonsolia:
Bad moments of your life generate the good moments; sadness give happiness... YOU are the most important person in your life, you got to appreciate yourself the way you truly are, and you'll be able to love the world and the people around you.. that's never easy to feel yourself alone, but karma is there, and all the work you've done will be soon reward... It's hard I know, but life is amazing, the cycle will be broken soon and everything will be fine <3
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user0616220901:
You guys rock!!! <3
chillism:
Cool.
Was a progressive year this year. I switched jobs. Made more money this year than I have ever. Almost financially stable now. Got a car. Went to San Diego. Came home for the holidays. Became the main tenant on my lease. Kicked out shitbags. Got promoted at work. Etc...
Downsides: gained weight and only got tattooed 3 times.
In other news: still single.😂
lidryem:
😂