facetious73

Okay, just so you all know, it's probably not the best idea to let the cat drink the milk out of the bowl once you've finished eating Fruitee Pebbles. Something in the leftover cereal-milk seems to upset kitty's tummies. Oh, how my Veruca doth puketh.

p.s. Frankenberry & Lucky Charms - Also bad.

Springtime comes and the leaves are back on the trees again.
The snipers are harder to see my friend.
Hiding in the deep end.
Weeding out the weekends.

Summer comes and gravity undoes you.
You're happy because of the lovely way the sunshine bends.
Hiding from your close friends.
Weeding out the weekends.

Candy left over from Halloween.
A unified theory of everything.
Love left...
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I sliced my pinky finger open today. And I mean deep ya'll. I contemplated going to the hospital, but you know what a friggin' drag that is. I'd probably sit for 4 1/2 hours thumbing through a "Highlights" magazine only to find out I didn't even need stitches after all. $350 for a squirt of Neosporin and a Cookie Monster band-aid. So I cleaned it...
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http://www.media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=aicha.wmv

..........I'm captivated.

"Pennies is for change. One or two or three is s'okay. FIVE - should be nickel."

....said the heavily accented, russian guy at the smoke shop to the old lady ahead of me earlier today.

It made me laugh THEN, chuckle a little LATER, and smile NOW as I look back and recollect. Thought I'd share.

So I went and saw "Monster" tonight. I wasn't 100% on what it was even about, but I dig Christina Ricci and I really have no beef with Charlize, so I went to check it out. Charlize made herself quite the pound-chub, packing on an extra 30 lbs. of ass. Her skin was horrible. She had a jacked up grill. I think there were like...
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Okay, my new favorite thing that I can't help but laugh at (loud mind you - and I'm the ONLY one) is when a movie somehow manages to work the title of the movie into the regular ole' dialogue of the script. Immediatele I hear the band in the background..."BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOOOOOM". Like it's been long in the waiting and finally revealed......
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Okay kiddies, here's a little semi-autobiographical memoir I wrote. If you make it through it, feel free to leave your comments....

"Sarah Whom I LIKE Like"

Her name was Sarah, or was it Sandra. Wait, Samantha? No, it was Sarah. I dont know and it doesnt really matter. The story pretty much plays itself out the same, but Ill never forget her. She was, in...
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I went to 20/20 tonight and picked up a couple of previously viewed DVDs (Meatballs and The Good Girl if it matters). Something that really amuses me is how guys who come into the store SOLEY for porn, do their best to make it look like theyre there for anything BUT that. They come on in. They quickly stroll the new release section. They'll stop...
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After some intense pondering I've finally been able to narrow it down. Alas, my top five favorite/funniest bumper stickers...

No. 5) Jesus was my copilot but we crashed into a mountain and I had to eat him.

No. 4) What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

No. 3) Pretty much anything with Calvin peeing on it.

No. 2) Mondale / Ferraro '84...
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Well it's a new year. A new year chock full of new resolutions. This year, I fully intend to collect as many pictures of my friends' and family's refridgerators and display them, where else, but on MY refridgerator. I don't know why or what I hope to accomplish, but I'm sure it's gotta' bring some kind of good luck or something. Submissions welcome.

Well, the holidays have come and gone and what would christmas be without the traditional ten pound, louisville slugger of a candy cane that my grandmother gives me each year? Mmmmmmmm... I've just about slubbered one end down to a nice, stake-like point. Time to go out and hunt down all the christmas vampires.