its AMAZING what a good night's sleep can do. zombie boy is gone and i am feeling pretty damn refreshed. a bit groggy...as if i just woke from one of those cryogenic stasis chambers they used in Aliens...but that will pass after a shower and some eats. of course, the effect is only for a while because i have massive amounts of shit to do and the late night schedule will resume. but last night i knew i had to get some sleep when i could barely finish my beer and an episode of samauri jack.
i had a kickass talk with avalonchase last night on the way home from work. we both have been pretty busy with our respective lives and prior to last night, hadn't really talked more than about 5 min at a time since our last shoot back in August. i initially called her to vent about some shit but then i just had to let her know how effing proud (and admittedly, a tad envious) i was of the love and support shes gotten on this site. i can recall our first conversations a few months ago when she was still trying to sort out if this is something she could or wanted to do. we all wrestle with self doubt at times its worse for some than others. but this chick has just rolled with it and has truly blossomed into a major f-ing star and i love her to death. we had a good talk about all kinds of random shit and just reaffirmed our role, presence and importance in each others lives. neither of us would be where we are right now if it were not for each other. i can count on one hand the number of truly good friends that i have. thankfully, she's got a spot on the list.
so i am struggling with an issue regardinig my involvement with the school that i mentioned yesterday. and its been part of the reason i havent been as involved with kids in the past couple of years. the school wants me to continue having my little workshops and i am happy to do it. they want me to go through a background check. no problem there. my past is clean. no michael jackson shit to worry about. and theres nothing illegal about my porn life, its all done with consenting adults in healthy sexual depictions. so that wont raise any flags either.
but i have been wondering if i should disclose the nature of my "side job". granted, i am sure there are kids at the school who have parents into some pretty "unique" stuff, i doubt any of them have an adult website. and even though there would never EVER be even the remotest of chances that my adult industry dealings would be raised, addressed or intersect with what i am doing at the school, i cant rule out the chance that some parent sees me at the school and says, "hey..i KNOW that guy from....OH MY GODDD!!!".
part of me wants to bring it up in the interest of being on the level. its a very laid back and small private school. i KNOW some of the teachers and administrators got their share of free loving back in the 60s. so i dont think i would encounter any ridicule or backlash. but theres always the whole f-ing politcally correct shit that people have to deal with. and its not about ME...its about the school.. even though porn is completely unrelated to anything and everything i would be doing in these sessions, the mere thought that the school has allowed "someone like me" (as if i am some a leper or something) to work with the students could be enough to make some parent(s) flip out. inevitably, this is the downside of choosing to pursue a life (even if its part time) in porn. certain doors are closed and others may be harder to open.
gonna have to stew on that one for a couple of days
i had a kickass talk with avalonchase last night on the way home from work. we both have been pretty busy with our respective lives and prior to last night, hadn't really talked more than about 5 min at a time since our last shoot back in August. i initially called her to vent about some shit but then i just had to let her know how effing proud (and admittedly, a tad envious) i was of the love and support shes gotten on this site. i can recall our first conversations a few months ago when she was still trying to sort out if this is something she could or wanted to do. we all wrestle with self doubt at times its worse for some than others. but this chick has just rolled with it and has truly blossomed into a major f-ing star and i love her to death. we had a good talk about all kinds of random shit and just reaffirmed our role, presence and importance in each others lives. neither of us would be where we are right now if it were not for each other. i can count on one hand the number of truly good friends that i have. thankfully, she's got a spot on the list.
so i am struggling with an issue regardinig my involvement with the school that i mentioned yesterday. and its been part of the reason i havent been as involved with kids in the past couple of years. the school wants me to continue having my little workshops and i am happy to do it. they want me to go through a background check. no problem there. my past is clean. no michael jackson shit to worry about. and theres nothing illegal about my porn life, its all done with consenting adults in healthy sexual depictions. so that wont raise any flags either.
but i have been wondering if i should disclose the nature of my "side job". granted, i am sure there are kids at the school who have parents into some pretty "unique" stuff, i doubt any of them have an adult website. and even though there would never EVER be even the remotest of chances that my adult industry dealings would be raised, addressed or intersect with what i am doing at the school, i cant rule out the chance that some parent sees me at the school and says, "hey..i KNOW that guy from....OH MY GODDD!!!".
part of me wants to bring it up in the interest of being on the level. its a very laid back and small private school. i KNOW some of the teachers and administrators got their share of free loving back in the 60s. so i dont think i would encounter any ridicule or backlash. but theres always the whole f-ing politcally correct shit that people have to deal with. and its not about ME...its about the school.. even though porn is completely unrelated to anything and everything i would be doing in these sessions, the mere thought that the school has allowed "someone like me" (as if i am some a leper or something) to work with the students could be enough to make some parent(s) flip out. inevitably, this is the downside of choosing to pursue a life (even if its part time) in porn. certain doors are closed and others may be harder to open.
gonna have to stew on that one for a couple of days
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
That's a really tough decision about continuing volunteering at the school. You seem like you have an excellent head on your shoulders, though, so I'm sure you'll make the right decision.