I was thinking about why fortune cookies always shout.
YOU WILL HAVE A FINANCIAL WINDFALL
YOU MAY LOSE THE SMALL ONES, BUT WIN THE BIG ONES
YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND
Like, fer serious. Fortune cookies? This is, like, uh, Caps Lock calling. He wants, like, a break.
Then it occurred to me that if my whole existence was designed for the purpose of delivering...
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But then I didn't leave for another hour and a half.